The Beginning of the End

Fred Ott’s Sneeze (W.K.L. Dickson, 1894): 5/5
In this shocking horror tale from the Edison Co., the monster Ott, deceptively holding a handkerchief to suggest he will abide by public health policy, turns against his creator and sprays him with a load of viral pathogens.  First-time helmer Dickson, in a taut, fast-paced narrative, both invents the cinema and envisions the uncontrollable, alien force within us that must ultimately destroy it. The ceremony of innocence is drowned; mere anarchy is loosed upon the world. (Now playing everywhere.)

Cats (Tom Hooper, 2019): 0.5/5

Not sure why this didn’t work, it follows a classic 3 act structure —

ACT ONE: Cats introduce themselves
ACT TWO: Cats continue to introduce themselves
ACT THREE: Unclear

Contagion ( Steven Soderbergh, 2011): 3/5

me watching this film during a pandemic: i think i know where this is going.

CONTAGION is expertly depicted - featuring many deaths, tons of bureaucratic nonsense, people doing their best yet still being flummoxed by nonsense, heroic people whose lives are taken with zero fanfare. Would have given it a higher rating if not for the "Damon's daughter's prom night" ending, an attempt at some sort of emotionally satisfying finale. Bullshit clumsy studio compromise, no doubt.

The Vast of Night (Andrew Patterson, 2019): 1.5/5

Impressive formal control; when there's actually something to look at, this is elegantly composed. Unfortunately it's in service of a lot of aw shucks quaintness and a glorified radio drama. Totally sleep-inducing. And the framing device is just useless. Did we really need to be prompted that this is sort of like an old Twilight Zone?

rewatched The Long, Long Trailer (Vincent Minnelli, 1954): 3/5

Duel, Fitzcarraldo/Burden of Dreams and The Wages of Fear got nothing on Minnelli-Ball-Arnaz. Lucy and Ricky - erm, Tacy and Nicky - buy a long long trailer despite his misgivings and she proceeds to make his life a living hell for the next 80 minutes. Domestic life portrayed as a hell on wheels in lurid Technicolor... Saw this as a kid on television one Sunday afternoon and always thought it was sweet. A safe no-brainer for when you really want to veg.

The Sound of Silence (Michael Tyburski, 2019): 2.5/5

Interesting, but doesn’t really explore its high concept premise enough to be anything more than that. I liked the patient and calculated atmosphere that it creates, but it’s missing some of the thematic exploration and deep melancholy that maybe someone like Charlie Kaufman or Spike Jonze would have brought to this material.

Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich (Alicia Arden, 2020): 2/5

Completely boilerplate, entry-level Epstein docuseries that, when not going out of its way to defend Bill Clinton, is almost totally innocuous and hardly illuminating.

Diane (Kent Jones, 2018): 3/5

A small New England town, wintry, God-fearing (John Updike country, though the milieu is lower-middle-class). This gave me exactly what I love in projects like Olive Kitteridge, an examination of a life lived quietly but not without significance. A natural caretaker haunted by her past and the looming specter of death. Diane's life may not be extraordinary but Mary Kay Place's performance very much is, utilizing her expressive face to its full potential. An empathetic character study worth watching if only for Place and Kent Jones' naturalistic atmosphere. Gentle and affecting, Jones displays cautious restraint in the melodrama resulting in a beautiful film negotiating the particulars of growing old.

An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power (Jon Shenk & Bonni Cohen, 2017): 2.5/5

Al Gore in 2006: stop fucking up the planet!!

Al Gore in 2017: I told you to stop FUCKING UP THE PLANET!!!

The Field Guide to Evil (Veronika Franz, Peter Strickland, 2018): 2.5/5

An international grab bag anthology of horror based on folklore. I would gladly watch a feature length version of The Palace of Horrors and I’d also like to pay more money to make sure America is never allowed to be part of a horror anthology film ever again.

Fun Mom Dinner (Alethea Jones, 2017): 2/5

Watchable, undemanding, and liable to exemplify blandness.

Sixteen Candles (John Hughes, 1984): 1/5

(First full, complete viewing.) Ah, the 80's. When America was Great™, Reagan was president, crack and AIDS were decimating disenfranchised populations, basically all of Latin America was run by U.S.-sponsored military dictatorships and John Hughes made movies about teenagers.

Surely, this was already influenced by the period's own nostalgia about post-WWII suburban utopia, but the fact is that this is a clear example of something made virtually irredeemable by its datedness, which is only reverberated by current pop culture's on-going fetishizing of that era. Ringwald's character's arc is mostly earnest and relatively amiable, yet is still much too slim to attenuate everything preposterously bad happening around her.

Honeyland (Tamara Kotevska & Ljubomir Stefanov, 2019): 5/5

Best documentary of the year and now my second favorite film of 2019. This one is going to stay with me for a long time.

Les Miserables (Ladj Ly, 2019): 2.5/5

A group of people in France sat in a room and decided that this film had a better chance of being recognized by The Academy than PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE. Infuriating and disgraceful.

And another thing: why would you make a film set in the banlieues in 2019 from the perspective of cops?

Border (Ali Abbasi, 2018): 3.5/5

A beguiling mix of horror-fantasy elements with an old-fashioned outcast story. The less you know going in to this bizarre, compelling film the better.

Greener Grass (Jocelyn DeBoer & Dawn Luebbe, 2019): 1.5/5

It’s like Todd Solondz or John Waters made a feature-length version of an SNL sketch. The style is the gag, and the gag wears thin. Also, can someone explain to me why every person in this neighborhood wears braces? I don't get it.

Little Monsters (Abe Forsythe, 2019): 2.5/5

Only in it for Lupita. Humor was ineffective and flat.

Spaceship Earth (Matt Wolf, 2020): 2/5

I liked when the Black teens immediately pointed out how white the whole thing was.

The 9th Life of Louis Drax (Alexandre Aja, 2016): 1/5

It's a family drama. But it's also a children's fantasy. And a horror movie. And a Hitchcockian suspense film complete with femme fatale. And a forbidden romance. And a psychological thriller. Oh, and Swamp Thing is here too. Holy hell and that Jaimie Dornan plague. Can we sign a petition to keep this plank of wood away from anything even remotely related to acting? 

Jojo Rabbit (Taika Waititi, 2019): 2.5/5

I don't really see how this is more valuable or productive than it would be played straight. 

The Lodge (Veronika Franz, Severin Fiala, 2020): 2/5

Let me get this straight: the main plan—not the contingency plan for when something goes wrong, but, like, Plan A—is for you to leave your kids alone in a cabin in the middle of nowhere ON CHRISTMAS with your cult-mass-suicide-surviving definitely-not-traumatized girlfriend SIX MONTHS after your ex-wife/the kids' mother committed suicide in response to learning that you wanted to marry your cult-mass-suicide-surviving definitely-not-traumatized girlfriend while you fuck off back to civilization to get some work done?

And you're, what, *surprised* when your kids, who both expressed their displeasure with this obviously awful plan and who openly act aggressively toward their surrogate mother, decide to gaslight her, causing her to have a mental breakdown and undo any psychological processing she had achieved since surviving the cult mass suicide? I mean, I've heard of people making bad decisions for the sake of progressing horror movie plots, but this entire scenario is fundamentally ill-conceived from beginning to end, from formulation to execution. Everything is tainted by its absurd folly.

Abacus: Small Enough to Jail (Steve James, 2016): 3.5/5

You know a movie’s craft is good when you’re rooting for a bank. I was trying to figure out why Cyrus Vance was such a familiar name to me, and then I realized it was because he was the dude who let Weinstein and The Trumps get away with so much shit and I was just like "oh yes that asshole". Fell in love with the Sung family. Sung daughters: sorry about everything that went on with your family. But also please hang out with me you're all so cool and strong and pretty.

Blow the Man Down (Danielle Krudy, Bridget Savage Cole, 2019): 3/5

A very promising debut from two filmmakers with a good sense of humor. Stylistic comparisons can be easily made (the Coen Brothers come to mind immediately), but nothing here feels borrowed in a way that's inauthentic. The film belongs to itself, and it's uniquely crafted in a way that makes the most of what's assumedly a more humble budget. Margo Martindale really deserves more dramatic roles. Also love the fishmonger Greek chorus.

A Good Marriage (Peter Askin, 2014): 1.5/5

Was it, though?

Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill (Joe DeMaio, 2020): 2/5

No cuss words. No filthy humor. No resorting to violent imagery to make his point. No hack material. No premises. No joke construction. No characters. No real point of view. Just good old-fashioned exasperation.

The Goldfinch (John Crowley, 2019): 1.5/5

It took me 5 weeks and a global pandemic to actually finish this.

The Coldest Game (Lukasz Kosmicki, 2019): 1.5/5

My friend Marcel wrote the screenplay. Bill Pullman as filthy Einstein-like Hobo, permadrunk smashing chess moves in a Beautiful Mind manner during Cold War while Russians are either drunk or evil or both. The Movie. 

Cheap and boring. Poor Marcel. The producers really fucked up his script. 

Knives Out (Rian Johnson, 2019): 2/5

Frantically tries to entertain, but can’t even muster a decent who-done-it.

Foreign Correspondent, rw (Alfred Hitchcock, 1940): 3.5/5

An expert entertainment. Joel McCrea is terrific, of course, and the airplane crash is startlingly direct. George Sanders rules, naturally.

Jojo Rabbit (Taika Waititi, 2019): 3.5/5

Borrows extensively from many different movies and has trouble resolving it all tone-wise. Still, Taika is aces as Hitler.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (Celine Sciamma, 2019): 5/5

Sublime. Michelle, when you see this one, I think you’re going to really love it.

The Bling Ring (Sofia Coppola, 2013): 2.5/5

Easily my least favorite of Coppola’s movies exploring her pet theme: characters imprisoned by their own privilege.  

Ash is the Purest White (Jia Zhangke, 2020): 3/5

A strong woman and the week men in her life. Says something profound about the modern history of China, probably.

Under the Skin, rw (Jonathan Glazer, 2013): 5/5

Harrowing, brilliant and full of striking and original images. ScarJo’s best and sexiest performance.

Onward (Dan Scanlon, 2020): 2.5/5

A movie about a fairy tale world where magic is running thin—made by Pixar, a company whose magic is running thin.

Bombshell (Jay Roach, 2019): 1.5/5

A charmless, ugly and redundant tale. To show how humiliating it is for Margo Robbie’s character to lift up her skirt and show Roger Ailes her panties, Roach has Robbie lift up her skirt and show the audience her panties. This is progress?

The Hunt (Craig Zobel, 2020): 3.5/5

Surprisingly kicky retelling of the Most Dangerous Game.

Platform (Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia, 2020): 2.5/5

A vertical prison with one cell per level. Two people per cell. A platform full of foot moves down through the cells, but it only has enough food for the top floors. Is it an allegory? We’ll never know.

The Long Goodbye, rw (Robert Altman, 1973): 4/5

I was surprised how much of the movie’s screen time is devoted to the alcoholic, cuckolded and kind of boring (despite Sterling Hayden’s unfettered histrionics) writer. However, the highs of this movie (pun intended) are very high.

Judex (George Franju, 1963): 2.5/5

Like Assayas, Franju loves Louis Feuillade.

Busting, rw (Peter Hyams, 1974): 4/5

I saw this one in the theater at age 7, and I still remembered every detail about the scene where the fat woman gets shot in the market (which I believe was shot in the now-hot Grand Central Market downtown). Classic ultra-cynical, funky 70s police fare. Gould and Blake are both at their mumbly finest. The dated ideas about gay people and people of color at least tell us how far we have come.

Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019): 2/5

Forgettable and an hour too long. Supposedly very true to the book, so I hope Steven King is happy.

Better Call Saul, seasons 4 and 5 (Vince Gilligan, 2019, 2020): 4/5

Loving everything involving the great Bob Odenkirk. Naturally, the cartel stuff serves as a handy crucible for Jimmy/Saul, but they spend too much time on that side of it for my taste. The last couple of episodes of season 5 were show highlights for me thus far.

Devs (Alex Garland, 2020): 3.5/5

Does Alex Garland believe we have free will? I’ll be fucked if I know. Still a reliably enjoyable headtrip.

Toby Dammit (Frederico Felllini, 1968): 2/5

An ugly and self-loathing mishmash. Since it was only a 1/3 of a movie (the other parts directed by Malle and Vadim, as if you didn’t know), it was mercifully short. Makes me very reluctant to rewatch any of Fellini’s later fantasias (Satyricon, Roma, Casanova), which I liked once upon a time.

The Whole Town is Talking (John Ford, 1935): 3.5/5

Edward G. Robinson in a dual role, and the always-charming Jean Arthur. Ford displays a mastery of lightly comic tone throughout.

Lured (Douglas Sirk, 1947): 3/5

Plays like one of Hitchcock’s lighter thrillers. Efficient storytelling, rich characters, a good red herring or two. George Sanders rules, naturally.

Shockproof (Douglas Sirk, 1949): 4/5

Wonderfully bonkers and emotionally intense. Part Going Straight life-beyond-prison movie and part Lovers on the Run.

Written on the Wind, rw (Douglas Sirk, 1965): 5/5

Trashy, vivid and compelling.

The Tall T, rw (Budd Boetticher, 1957): 4.5/5

The great outdoors of Boetticher’s movies are very pleasurable to watch, now perhaps more than ever. At an hour and 18 minutes, this one’s a brief gem, adapted from an early Elmore Leonard novel.

One Cut of the Dead (Shin’ichiró Ueda, 2017): 3/5

In the first half hour, a film crew making a zombie movie is attacked by real zombies. Then the movie pulls back to reveal that this is a movie, and we follow behind the scenes to see how they made it. Strangely, this “real” crew is not attacked by zombies. Go figure.

This is Not a Film (Jafar Panahi, 2011): 3/5

Panahi is stuck in his house, and I can relate. I appreciated the despair and doubt, the halting and failed attempts at understanding and creating.

Little Women (Greta Gerwig, 2019): 4/5

The movie’s significant emotional power comes from the juggled timeline, making all the happy times sadder and the sad times more nuanced and melancholy. Good acting abounds.

Harakiri (Masaki Kobayashi, 1962): 4/5

Some absolutely killer samurai fighting, contrasted with static storytelling tableau.

La Chienne, Toni, La Bête Humaine (Jean Renoir, 1931, 1935, 1938): 3/5

Filled with criminal acts of all description yet imbued with a gods-eye view of humanity that somehow forgives it all. Humans…what are you going to do?

Normal People (Lenny Abrahamson, 2020): 2.5/5

Promisingly romantic start, but then both characters descend separately into clinical depression. Weird!

Onibaba, rw (Kaneto Shindo, 1964): 4.5/5

Two women living in an existential field of reeds kill samurai and throw them down a profoundly yonic black hole in the ground. A new neighbor stokes new-found (and profound) sexual feeling of the younger one. One of the best masks in cinema.

Pather Panchali, Aparajito, Apur Sansar (Satyajit Ray, 1955, 1956, 1959): 5/5

Startlingly shot and deeply felt. Full of sudden tragedy and hard-won redemption. I especially loved Aparajito, which contrasts so movingly the village and the city, but its power is doubled by the trilogy.

The Big City (Satyajit Ray, 1963): 3.5/5

Entertaining tale of a housewife exhilarated to be getting a job for the first time.

The Only Son (Yasujiro Ozu, 1936): 3/5

A mother gives up everything to send her son to be educated in Tokyo. What is success, anyway?

A Hen in the Wind (Yasujiro Ozu, 1948): 2.5/5

Surprisingly standard “Woman is poor and has to turn to prostitution” storyline. See The Life of Oharu, Street of Shame, Osaka Elegy—and probably some movies not by Mizoguchi, too.

The Flavor of Green Tea Over Rice (Yasujiro Ozu, 1952): 3.5/5

After watching A Hen in the Wind and The Only Son, it was a pleasure to watch some folks who have some dough, at least. A tale of marital disconnection with a satisfying happy ending.

Tokyo Story, rw (Yasujiro Ozu, 1953): 3.5/5

I appreciated how large-scale this was, with so many characters sketched so specifically. I remain surprised this is the Ozu that people have decided is the masterpiece.

The End of Summer, rw (Yasujiro Ozu, 1961): 3.5/5

The love lives of (at least) three characters, gently contrasted. Ozu’s second-to-last film, and one that is already shadowed by death. All these 3.5s: Ozu the most consistent director? I always adore the tones of his movies, which tend toward the placid and peaceful. There is hardship, but Ozu doesn’t punish either his characters or his audience. Drinking and smiling abound.

The Cloud-Capped Star (Ritwik Ghatak, 1960): 2/5

One of my least favorite stories: one misery after another is visited upon a woman. Lars von Trier would love it, I’m sure. Beautifully shot.

The Insect Woman (Shohei Inamura, 1963): 2.5/5

Here’s “one misery after another is visited upon a woman” again. At least this one has tons of perversion.

Three Colors: Blue (Krzysztof Kieslowski, 1993): 2/5

This is one of two movies that I feel asleep during in the theatre (the other was Woody Allen’s Another Woman). I forgive myself, because this movie is truly boring.

Blind Chance (Krzysztof Kieslowski, 1987): 2/5

I guess the point is: for god’s sake don’t fly to Paris.

Stray Dog (Akira Kurosawa, 1949): 4/5

Cop loses gun and hunts the guy who has it, who is on a robbery and killing spree. Satisfying as a detective story, and Mifune’s debut performance as a rookie cop driven by guilt is riveting.

Red Beard (Akira Kurosawa, 1965): 3.5/5

Engrossing but overlong story of a rural hospital overseen by a saintly despot. Since it’s 1965, I suppose this is Kurosawa’s entry into the roadshow-prestige-picture-with-intermission trend.

Rashomon, Derzu Uzala, rw (Akira Kurosawa, 1950, 1975): 5/5

Still good.

The Gentleman (Guy Richie, 2020): 2/5

Full of smug monologues and wasted actors of merit.

Taipei Story (Edward Yang, 1985): 2/5

A somnambulist couple is very, very, very slowly ground down by a Taiwan that only seems to offer opportunity.

Run (Vicky Jones, 2020): 2/5

Each episode worse than the last

Robocop, rw (Paul Verhoeven, 1987): 4.5/5

Nasty, brutish and short.

Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (David Amito, 2018): 3.5/5

A faux 70s horror movie about opening up the gates of hell, padded out with some documentary footage about how anyone who watches the movie dies. Not everything works, but it is chock full of eerie scenes.

The Vast of Night (Andrew Patterson, 2020): 4/5

An unseen UFO hovers above a small town, making spooky noises. Some terrific one-ers, including a mind-boggling dash across town and a tension-building scene where a switchboard operator (it’s the 50s) discovers that the sound is coming from all over the town. Really nice grasp of the power of audio.

The Taking of Power by Louis XIV (Roberto Rossellini, 1966): 1.5/5

Are all the actors being instructed to be extremely stiff and robotic? Is the movie’s extremely static nature a bug or a feature?

Nightfall (Jacques Tourneur, 1956): 3/5

At 1:18, the movie is swift and unique. Aldo Ray is a real stiff, but Anne Bancroft, Brian Keith and especially James Gregory are all terrific.

The Deeper You Dig (John Adams, 2020): 3/5

Ari Aster has succeeded in bringing Bergman to contemporary American horror. A ghost story that flows out of real trauma.

Intimate Lighting (Ivan Passer, 1965): 3.5/5

Charming and slight sketch of 24 hours of family of musicians. Pleasant tone.