The Disaster Artist (James Franco, 2017): 3/5 
Back when I worked at Cinefile, we had a section aptly called "Holy Fucking Shit". Guess which title was always prominently displayed on there? 

Brawl in Cell Block 99 (S. Craig Zahler, 2017): 3.5/5
Fantastic genre piece. Loved the stylization, the writing, the characters. #originality #ftw 

The Florida Project (Sean Baker, 2017): 2/5 
Cinematic slog about poverty and the tired theme of childhood resilience, with indie affectations. But even with my general abhorrence for children and the state of Florida, and my apathetic feelings for Sean Baker's work, it's hard not to be smitten with Willem Dafoe. 

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh, 2017): 4/5 
Me: Hi 
Frances Mcdormand: shut the fuck up and die ugly 
Me: Oh my god yes anything for you 

I, Tonya (Craig Gillespie, 2017): 2/5 
I, Michelle am glad I didn't pay to see this. 

The Shape of Water (Guillermo del Toro, 2017): 2/5 
WASTING WATER IS NOT ROMANTIC. #wtf #bestpicture #really? #oscarssolame 

Call Me By Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017): 2.5/5
Watching this really was the definition of neutral for me, if not bordering on slight dislike. It feels more like a puzzle with mostly missing and broken pieces and I'm not sure what "brilliant" bigger picture I'm supposed to be seeing. The film itself and multiple characters within it talk about the love between Oliver and Elio as if it is a rarity and a beautiful thing, but where is it ever like that? There's NO chemistry and we barely see them interact together in any significant way, making their inevitable coupling feel blasé. And another thing: Armie who?? Other than being conventionally attractive, I honestly found nothing intriguing, memorable, or revelatory about him or his performance. #overrated 

Battle of the Sexes (Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris, 2017): 2.5/5 
This is a GAYS only event, GO HOME 

A Hole in My Heart (Lukas Moodysson, 2004): 1/5 
A conveyor belt of depravity. Despite its [SCREECHING NOISE] efforts to employ avant - [SOUND CUTS FOR 4 SECONDS, THEN SCREECHING NOISE OVER PIXELATION] garde technique to discuss [GOES NIGHTVISION AND SOUND DOESN'T MATCH IMAGE] sexual desire and past trauma and parenting I don [SCREECHING, SCARE CUTS TO VAGINAL SURGERY] 't think the film succeeds at articulating any of its ideas astutely. 

Bone Tomahawk (S. Craig Zahler, 2015): 4.5/5 
Zahler's a talent. Simply superb. A brutal, smart, literary Western about what is basically a story of four white dudes saving a captured woman from Native Americans, made on a low budget. One of the most impressive debuts in recent years. (And I'm no gorehound or genre aficionado.) Zahler is two for two so far. Can't wait to see what he comes up with next. 

Fingersmith (Aisling Walsh, 2005): 5/5
Lesbian Sally Hawkins: way better than Fish Fucking Sally Hawkins. (This is also superior to Chan-wook Park's version.) 

Thelma (Joachim Trier, 2017): 3/5 
Sheltered by her parents to the point of neurosis, 18-year-old Thelma heads off to college and begins to feel the stirrings of attraction toward new friend Anja. Then things kinda take a turn for the worst. And the weird. Kinda like a Nordic version of CARRIE with a more sexually actualized protagonist. 

Beloved (Jonathan Demme, 1998): 3/5
A scene for scene, line for line adaptation of the acclaimed Toni Morrison novel of the same name. A sprawling and bracingly uncompromising studio project. #RIP #jonathandemme 

Black Panther (Ryan Coogler, 2018): 3.5/5 
Ryan Coogler to film composer: "Make every theme so rhythmically intense that no white people can clap along." 

Phantom Thread (PTA, 2017): 3.5/5 
Me Whenever Someone Causes Me Any Minor Inconvenience: are you a special agent sent here to ruin my evening and possibly my entire life? Is this my house? This is my house, isn't it? Or did somebody drop me on foreign soil behind enemy lines? I'm surrounded by all sides. When the hell did this happen? Who are you? Do you have a gun? Are you here to kill me? Hmm? Do you have a gun? Where is your gun? Show me your gun. 

Molly's Game (Aaron Sorkin, 2017): 2.5/5 
Jessica Chastain really brought the "I was told by Apple Care" realness that this role required. 

Molly’s Game (Aaron Sorkin, 2017): 2/5

Overwritten. Also overacted and over-directed. And at 2 hours and 20 minutes overlong. Is it weird that Chastain so often picks roles where she’s a genius or goddess? The female Will Smith?

Help! (Richard Lester, 1965): 2.5/5

The Beatles/Lester invent the Monkees, but the faux-Indians in brownface with parody-level accents? #problematic

The Milky Way (Luis Buñuel, 1969): 3/5

A programmatic but occasionally amusing attack on dogma. A warm-up for the superior Discreet Charm and Phantom.

Paddington 2 (Paul King, 2018): 3/5

The whole fam enjoyed this sweet movie containing some nice bits of physical comedy. Sally Hawkins’s best recent performance.

Sexy Beast, rw (Jonathan Glazer, 2000): 3/5

A surprisingly conventional gangster movie in comic mode, with at least two great performances. Forevermore owns the Stranglers’ “Peaches.”

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh, 2017): 2.5/5

The less talented McDonagh brother. Defined/marred by intentional whiplashes of tone and character.

The Shape of Water (Guillermo del Toro, 2017): 2/5

Marketed as a romance, but it spends so much time with villain Shannon that it becomes more of a Guantanamo Bay analogy. But then is it OK for the analogue of a Pakistani or Afghanistani to be a fish? #problematic

A Futile and Stupid Gesture (David Wain, 2018): 2/5

A fiction remake of recent documentary, Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead. You know, like Apocalypse Now was the fiction remake of Hearts of Darkness.

The Cloverfield Paradox (Julius Onah, 2018): 1.5/5

Hard to say what makes this movie’s illogic ruinous and Annihilation’s exhilarating, yet here we are.

The Florida Project (Sean Baker, 2017): 4/5

Pastel neo-realism. I could barely stand to be in the company of these grating brats. Still, the end floored me.

Personal Shopper (Olivier Assayas, 2016): 3/5

Un story ghost. Trains, sexy outfits, dead brothers. Surprisingly genre-satisfying.

Creep (Patrick Brice, 2014): 4/5

Michelle was right about this effective and efficient thriller (77 minutes!) of discomfort, shot on a shoestring. Low-key great performance from Duplass.

Le Samouri, rw (Jean-Pierre Melville, 1967): 3/5

Amazing what a great, long coat can do for the audience’s reception of a loser who loses and loses. Not in my Melville top six.

Dawson City: Frozen Time (Bill Morrison, 2016): 4/5

Fascinating in both its subject matter and methodology. All film is documentary.

Valerian and the City of Thousand Planets (Luc Besson, 2017): 1.5/5

Considering (because of?) how much is happening on the screen, it’s amazingly dull.

Winter Kills (William Richert, 1979): 1.5/5

Tonally, a trainwreck. With Bridges, John Huston, Anthony Perkins, Eli Wallach, Sterling Hayden, Dorothy Malone, Ralph Meeker, and Toshiro Mifune—each of whom seems to be performing in a different movie.

Just Ancient Loops, 26 mins (Bill Morrison, 2012): 3/5

Some great stuff here.

The Post (Steven Spielberg, 2017): 2/5

Crack for 60+ liberals.

Columbus (Kogonada, 2017): 2/5

As inert and rigid as the buildings it fetishizes.

Annihilation (Alex Garland, 2018): 4.5/5

A head-trip into mystery. It doesn’t all work, but what does is gold.

Stalker, rw (Andrei Tarkovsky, 1979): 4.5/5

A nice pair with Annihilation of course.

Ratatouille, rw (Brad Bird, 2007): 4.5/5

My favorite Pixar movie.

The Wind Rises (Hayao Miyazaki, 2013): 4.5/5

Why oh why did I wait so long to watch this last movie from one of my favorite living filmmakers? Master storytelling, amazing flying sequences, super-expressive hair, and a unique view of just-pre-war Japan.

The Ritual (Davide Bruckner, 2018): 2/5

I’m a sucker for these horror and sci-fi movies that just show up one day on Netflix, although they are mostly forgettable. Case in point: did this rip off Blair Witch or Deliverance? I can’t even remember.

Isle of Dogs (Wes Anderson, 2018): 4.5/5

Wes is nine for nine, for me. Possibly the most detailed movie of all time. Funny and surprisingly relevant.

Better Call Saul, season 3 (Vince Gilligan, et. al, 2017): 2/5

As the show increasingly morphs to a Breaking Bad prequel, it’s as if my favorite TV show is being slowly invaded by an inferior one.

High Maintenance, season 1 & 2 (Ben Sinclair & Katja Blichfeld, 2016): 4.5/5
An anthology show featuring pithy portraits of all kinds of New Yorkers, loosely strung together by their amiable weed dealer, always a welcome presence. It’s a real pleasure to not know what any given episode is going to contain.

The Square (Ruben Ostlund, 2017): 4/5

Captivating, enjoyable Toni Erdmann-like absurdist, dry comedy about a museum curator and the art world. Loved the slow-burning eccentricity. 

Shoah (Claude Lanzmann, 1985): 5/5 

"If you could lick my heart, it would poison you." 

Berlin Alexanderplatz (Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1980): 2/5 

For RWF completionists only, otherwise don't bother because it's neither a game changer nor a masterpiece. Oh jeez and the epilogue is batshit craaaazy and comes out of leftfield.  Took me like, two weeks to finish watching all 16 hours. 

Gook (Justin Chon, 2017): 2/5

Hollow and simple-minded movie about Koreans v. Blacks during the Rodney King riots. Clearly the work of an inexperienced cineaste with financial restrictions. Though images are starkly beautiful at times, the whole thing's a tonal mess. 

re-watched The Sopranos (David Chase, 1999-2007): 5/5 

Two things: 1) I miss James Gandolfini and 2) I still have a thing for Dr. Melfi. 

Columbus (Kogonada, 2017): 3/5 

Another tranquil, slice-of-life film about thwarted dreams and father/son disappointments, but this time with added discourse on architecture and not-a-hair-out-of-place perfectly composed shots like, non-stop as a cinematic technique. (Wow who the heck knew about the existence of Columbus, IN btw?) 

Dementia 13 (Richard LeMay, 2017): 1/5

Reimagining of the 1963 Francis Ford Coppola horror film of the same name. (I haven't seen it.) The immediate threats terrorizing the Halorans in their haunted castle are, get this: a group of robbers AND an evil doll AND their dead sister AND an insane masked axe murderer; yet, the most terrifying aspects of this remake is its complete lack of originality and rampant cliches. 

Blair Witch (Adam Wingard, 2017): 1/5 

This is roughly the movie that most people expected in 1999, which only amplifies my love and appreciation of what we got instead. 

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (Joss Whedon, 2008): 4/5 

Hilarious/clever/smart 45-minute musical (only 45 minutes! *kisses fingers, chef-like*) about a super villain (Dr. Horrible, played by Neil Patrick Harris) and his archnemesis (Captain Hammer, played by Nathan Fillion). Great fun. 

1408 (Mikael Hafstrom, 2007): 2.5/5 

Another Stephen King adaptation.Watchable because of the solid atmosphere and tension. The last act fails to satisfy though and comes off as half-cooked. 

The Electric Horseman (Sydney Pollack, 1979): 2/5 

An O.K. Horse Movie.  

The Killing of A Sacred Deer (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2017): 4.5/5

Not really a fan of Lanthimos's other films, but I was riveted from start to finish with this one, terrified of what the fuck could possibly happen next. Tone is everything here. Great formal expressionism ranging from Kubrickian Steadicam to De Palma-esque God's eye view to even a swoony motorcycle embrace straight out of a Hou Hsiao-hsien film.

re-watched Blade Runner (Ridley Scott, 1982): 3/5

Blasphemy Alert: I was never really "into" this wildly popular film. I mean it's perfectly fine. Rutger Hauer's last lines are still great. But now I find the whole "I want you" scene between Harrison Ford and Sean Young distasteful. 

Blade Runner: 2049 (Denis Villeneuve, 2017): 4/5 

Blasphemy Alert: it's better than the original. 

Whisper of the Heart (Yoshifumi Kondou, 1995): 1/5

The cinematic equivalent of young adult fiction. I've no intention to beat up on a Studio Ghibli movie, but beyond the pretty animations, there's precious little to interest an adult viewer. 

The Overnight (Patrick Brice, 2015): 4/5

Another great, engaging indie film by Patrick Brice (Creep, 2014), and this time it's a sex comedy. I'm now a Jason Schwartzman believer. 

Happy Death Day (Christopher B. Landon, 2017): 2.5/5

Mean Girls meets Friday the 13th meets Groundhog Day. An idiotic good time. Scariest part was when the credits started rolling and I thought it said directed by Christopher Nolan. 

The Similars (Isaac Ezban, 2015): 2/5

It's like someone put The Shining and Aphex Twins into Cronenberg's fly teleportation device and this is the movie that comes out the other booth. There's a reason why "Twilight Zone" episodes aren't feature length. 

Beatriz at Dinner (Miguel Arteta, 2017): 1/5

Salma Hayek's character is so insufferable and annoying and a horrible dinner guest that I found myself siding with the other dinner guests who were all corporate Republican ne'er-do-wells. Oh my god and Chloe Sevigny plays a rich girl. Now I've seen everything.

Stories We Tell (Sarah Polley, 2012): 2.5/5

Really wanted to like this doc, but alas my concentration lapsed numerous times; maybe because the big reveal comes way early on in the film and then meanders through an hour of sanguine, soul-searching justification for its own existence.

The Hot Rock (Peter Yates, 1972): 3/5

Perfectly adequate heist comedy, nice and light. Suitable for a Saturday afternoon filler. 

Certain Women (Kelly Reichhardt, 2016): 1.5/5  

To quote Douglas Adams, "For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen."  On par with Pablo Larrain's Jackie for most tedious, unnecessary film of 2016, Reichhardt overthinks the human condition in yet another yawn-fest think piece. She really has very little to say beyond artsy interpretations of female living. A triptych (with Laura Dern and Michelle Williams), it's the last story with Kristen Stewart that makes the film somewhat salvageable if you can believe it. 

Creep (Patrick Brice, 2015) --4/5
Answering a Craigslist ad, a man travels to a house in the wilderness to document a dying man's final days. Said man (played by Mark Duplass) is quite odd to say the least, and the unease never lets up. Short in length, high in scares and dread, I'm still thinking about it 4 or 5 days later.


Water Lilies (Celine Sciamma, 2014)-- 4.5/5
Celine Sciamma's debut feature is a queer, coming-of-age French drama about three 15-year-old girls exploring their own sexual identity, and linked together by their membership of a synchronised swimming team. I didn't expect to like it as much as I did, but the performances, the depth of its characters, along with pace and feel, made the film something special and meaningful. Also interesting to see Adele Haenel in an early role.

Dunkirk (Christopher Nolan, 2016)-- 3/5
Three timeline is the new three act. Nolan gets to put into practice a set of theories about time using a specific historical event. I guess it's better than lodging the theoretical into exposition. 

The Lure (Agnieszka Smoczynska, 2017) -- 2/5
Horror, comedy, romance, musical, fantasy, fairytale art-house flick set in 1980s Warsaw about two mermaids who are adopted by a family of musicians. One mermaid sings, dances, falls in love; the other mermaid sings, dances, and kills people without remorse. Intriguing but never engaging or emotionally involving. Images are aesthetically composed but never alluring.

Colors (Dennis Hopper, 1988) -- 1/5
Yeah no nevermind mass incarceration, police brutality, socio-economic exclusion, drug abuse, objectification of black bodies, and institutionalized racism; the real victims here are the two well-meaning but jaded white cops. 

XX (Roxane Benjamin, Annie Clark, Karyn Kusama, Jovanka Kuvokic, 2017)-- 2/5
Horror anthology of four standalone shorts, each helmed by a female director, and each starring a female lead. Initially promising but eventually disappointing, the film fails to deliver as a whole and is merely stitched together by a random stop-motion animated segment. 

The Bad Batch (Ana Lily Amanpour, 2016) -- 1.5/5
Mad Max meets Rob Zombie-lite meets Burning Man. Temporarily engaging with certain actions and visuals, but ultimately just not my textual bag. Also, UCLA film school grad/cool kid Amanpour just looooooooves telling people she's done peyote. WE GET IT. 

Your Name. (Makota Shinkai, 2016) -- 1/5
Soppy, frustratingly long and repetitive, time travel/body swap yarn. Nice Japanese animation punctuated by offputting, cheesy pop tunes. Not my cup of sake. Oh and hey btw, JUST CALL EACH OTHER!!!!! ON!!!! YOUR CELLULAR!!! DEVICES!!! YOU HOLLOW DESKTOP SCREENSAVER TEENS!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!! 

Girlhood (Celine Sciamma, 2015) -- 4.5/5
No it didn't take twelve years to make, you hush now. Sciamma's definitely in my top favorite contemporary filmmakers list. Beautiful, devastating work of art. This scene where the girls lip-sync their way through Rihanna's "Diamonds" in stolen designer clothing inside a posh Parisian hotel is one for the ages. They are their own light in a cold world. A momentary crux.  Hypnotic. Sublime.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3lDo0v96D8&index=1&list=FLG5qjPsbAS1RWa8GPJpWF_A

* Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Rian Johnson, 2017): 3/5

Not interesting narratively, but cool use of red. I appreciated its funky, CGI-resistant, “guys-in-costumes-sitting-around-a-real-table” quality.

Lady Macbeth (William Oldroyd, 2017): 3/5

What if Jane Eyre didn’t take no shit?

The Killing of a Sacred Deer (Yorgos Lantimos, 2017): 4/5

The “talking as if you’re a polite alien” bit is just as funny here as in The Lobster. Very Kubrickian cinematography, plus Barry Keoghan offering my favorite supporting performance of the year as the friendly neighborhood psychopath.

Blade Runner 2049: 4.5/5

It Comes at Night (Trey Edward Shults, 2017): 2.5/5

We have met the enemy, and…get this...it’s us!!!!!

Brigsby Bear (Dave McKary, 2017): 3/5

If this movie was better, I would not reveal that (ok…spoiler) it’s the cross between Room and Be Kind, Rewind that everyone has been clamoring for (and not as good as either one.)

The Watch (Akiva Schaffer, 2012): 3/5

On February 25, 2012, neighborhood watch coordinator George Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin. Tragically, this caused 20th Century Fox to have to rename (from ”Neighborhood Watch”) and under-market this pretty funny Ben Stiller vehicle, released on July 27.

* Phantom Thread (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2017): 4.5/5

Beautiful and shaggy. As (almost) always, it’s a real pleasure to watch DDL.

Bright (David Ayer, 2017): 1.5/5

Anti-racism themed Netflix actioner is actually incredibly racist. Twist!

A Dark Song (Liam Gavin, 2017): 4/5

In this stealth remake of Stalker, a woman hires a self-doubting guide to perform an occult ritual that will grant her wish. Wonderfully unwholesome.

Good Time (The Safdie Brothers, 2017): 2.5/5

Dumb, sweaty characters wandering through amazing pretty/ugly slabs of red, green and yellow light.

The Circle (James Ponsoldt, 2017) -- 2/5
A 2-hour TED talk about why privacy is bad, I mean good, I mean bad? And about why freedom is good, I mean bad, I mean good? 

The Thing (John Carpenter, 1982) -- 5/5
"Nobody trusts anybody now, and we're all very tired." What a horror and wonder to behold. 

Misery (Rob Reiner, 1990)-- 3.5/5
I never knew Rob Reiner directed this. Who would've thought huh. Anyway, my sphincter still hasn't unclenched.

The Unknown Girl (Jean-Pierre & Luc Dardenne, 2016) -- 3/5
I was disappointed with the third act. It relied far too much upon conveniences for the plot in order to find a proper conclusion. 

Kidnap (Luis Pietro, 2017) -- 1.5/5
Fun drinking game: take a shot whenever Halle Berry screams 'Oh God' and runs after something. You'll be plastered before the end of the first act.  

Dead Ringer (Paul Henreid, 1964) -- 3/5
"Let's get Bette all middle-age sexy with Malden, then bring on the pathos!" A good premise, I must say. 

Lemon (Janicza Bravo, 2017) -- 1/5
Ugh, the oppressive quirkiness. The oddness...so THICK. The whole movie works against itself in every regard. 

Force Majeure (Ruben Ostlund, 2014) -- 4/5
A stunning examination of masculinity and how one split second decision made under duress can change a family unit. Authentic performances, restrained direction, gorgeous cinematography. A movie that tells a lot by doing little. 

Rough Night (Lucia Aniello, 2017) -- 3.5/5
White girl version of Girls Trip meets Very Bad Things (1998). A generic-looking comedy with a million dick jokes, but surprisingly a decent studio comedy with a million dick jokes.