re-watched The Little Foxes (William Wyler, 1941): 3/5
Agree with Justin that it's a bit stagey and the weaker one of all the Wyler/Davis collaborations. Nevertheless, worth re-watching a frothy family melodrama that takes place in the deep South with Bette Davis as a straight up bitch.
Una (Benedict Andrews, 2017): 2/5
Had an attention-grabbing plot to work with but was ruined by poor execution. Its premise just feels like a story that attempts to humanize a pedophile disguised as an empowering rape survivor tale with muted visuals. An extra star for Rooney Mara because in my house, we support her even in shitty films.
Incredibles 2 (Brad Bird, 2018): 3.5/5
Fun and stylish. Basically just meets my expectations for a Pixar cash grab. Extra half star for Edna Mode, my favorite character. #moviepass
American Animals (Bart Layton, 2018): 1.5/5
A true story about morons wanting to steal rare books for...? Morality? Masculinity? Needing to feel special? Who the hell cares. 5 minutes in and I already hated every directorial choice, and the whole thing's just riddled with stupid moments. The best part of this movie is when I got to watch part of Kubrick's The Killing within it. #moviepass
The Fallen Idol (Carol Reed, 1948): 2.5/5
Or, How Little Children Can Royally Fuck Things Up Without Really Meaning To.
The Ornithologist (Joao Pedro Rodrigues, 2016): 2.5/5
JP is a very talented guy and most of this is seductive, but I can't shake the feeling it is all rather academic as well.
Thoroughbreds (Corey Finley, 2017): 3/5
Heavenly Creatures but with a different brand of folie a deux. A promising debut by NY-based playwright Corey Finley.
Hereditary (Ari Aster, 2018): 4/5
This is my kind of Horror. Beautiful stylistic control, sublime film score, outstanding psychological performances - gripping, powerful, and deeply unnerving all around. Loved the seething undercurrent of dread/evil that kept building after the first act's unexpected plot point. Could've done without that expository bit at the very end though. (I posit: it was haphazardly thrown in post-production after test-screen audiences' furrowed their brows, unable to accept any kind of ambiguity.) #moviepass
Ocean's 8 (Gary Ross, 2018): 3/5
Light and breezy. 5/5 for Cate Blanchett's face; 5/5 for her outfits. Also, I'm starting to think we never gave Hathaway the respect she deserves. #moviepass
Born Yesterday (George Cukor, 1950): 1.5/5
There's only so much enjoyment that can be had watching William Holden condescend a woman for protracted periods of time. AND ANOTHER THING: I found out Judy Holliday won the Oscar over Gloria Swanson for Sunset Blvd and Bette Davis for All About Eve which is literal insanity. Judy playing a "dumb blonde" over the others tells you everything you need to know about Academy voters, past and present.
Death Becomes Her (Robert Zemekis, 1992): 3/5
The most dated thing about this isn't the CGI, it's the fact that Meryl Streep is billed third. (Perhaps Bobby Z's most underrated movie???)
Re-Animator (Stuart Gordon, 1985): 2.5/5
Gotta love a horror-comedy where horror IS the comedy. There's hardly a joke in the entire movie; you just laugh at the gleeful abandonment of good taste.
Daddy's Little Girls (Tyler Perry, 2007): 2/5
Caught this Sunday Movie Matinee on TV while flipping through channels and ended up watching the entire thing because who doesn't love Idris Elba from The Wire.
Monday, June 18, 2018
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
The Monster (Bryan Bertino, 2016): 1/5
Bryan Bertino's cinematic adaptation of the phrase: "D'you get it?" (SPOILER ALERT:........................................................................................................The monster is alcoholism. Or hardships. Or cruelty in life. Something to that effect, told to us incessantly. Should NOT have been marketed as horror.)
Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey (Constance Marks, 2011): 2.5/5
Cute and cuddly! *cut to me later reading Kevin Clash's Wiki page and learning of the sexual allegations with a young boy* WHY MUST EVERY MAN I LOVE DISAPPOINT ME.
White Bird in a Blizzard (Gregg Araki, 2014): 3/5
Strives to maintain a sufficient amount of suspense while presenting a touching tale about youth. Surprisingly engaging and unpredictable.
re-watched Training Day (Antoine Fuqua, 2001): 5/5
Tightly paced and always entertaining with its two acts of pure excellence and corking dialogue. Not to mention one firecracker of a performance by Denzel.
re-watched Ariel (Aki Kaurismaki, 1988): 4/5
"What's this button for?"
Let the Sunshine In (Claire Denis, 2018): 2/5
Claire Denis's first sci-fi film: a world where no one wants to commit to being with Juliette Binoche. #moviepass
Paddington 2 (Paul King, 2017): 2/5
Sorry I'm a heartless asshole.
First Reformed (Paul Schrader, 2018): 4.5/5
Or, The Radicalization of a Country Priest. Pitch black arthouse film with intoxicating visuals, razor sharp storytelling, and nuanced craft. Enthralling. Paul Schrader is BACK, BABY!!!!! #moviepass
Manifesto (Julian Rosefeldt, 2015): 2/5
Cate Blanchett plays 13 characters reciting dozens of artistic and political manifestos, from Marx to Dogma '95. It isn't literally watching a favorite actor read the phone book, but the spliced-together manifestos are too many, too jumbled, and too context-less to pull any kind of coherent meaning. Was likely more successful in its initial form as as multi-screen art installation.
The Other Side of Hope (Aki Kaurismaki, 2017): 3.5/5
Funny and sad in equal measures.
Deadpool 2 (David Leitch, 2018): 2/5
I have little memory of having watched this. #moviepass
1922 (Zak Hilditch, 2017): 1.5/5
The only element that's lacking is the most important one - a sense of ratcheting tension and suspense to justify a 1h45m broody, atmospheric horror tale. See: The Witch for a movie akin to this, done right.
Wonderstruck (Todd Haynes, 2017): 1/5
I'll just stick to re-watching Safe and Carol, thanks.
Night and Day (Hong sang-soo, 2008): 2/5
I find Hong's structure too meandering, and his flat visual style only adds to the lack of engagement. Ugh and those obnoxious zooms.
re-watched Darwin's Nightmare (Hubert Sauper, 2004): 4/5
Fucked up and horrifying.
Lady Bird (Greta Gerwig, 2017): 3.5/5
Pleasant. Formulaic territory but makes up for it with charming leads.
re-watched L.A. Confidential (Curtis Hanson, 1997): 5/5
When you think about it, it's The Wizard of Oz - Bud gets a brain, Jack gets a heart, Ed gets the courage.
Bryan Bertino's cinematic adaptation of the phrase: "D'you get it?" (SPOILER ALERT:........................................................................................................The monster is alcoholism. Or hardships. Or cruelty in life. Something to that effect, told to us incessantly. Should NOT have been marketed as horror.)
Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey (Constance Marks, 2011): 2.5/5
Cute and cuddly! *cut to me later reading Kevin Clash's Wiki page and learning of the sexual allegations with a young boy* WHY MUST EVERY MAN I LOVE DISAPPOINT ME.
White Bird in a Blizzard (Gregg Araki, 2014): 3/5
Strives to maintain a sufficient amount of suspense while presenting a touching tale about youth. Surprisingly engaging and unpredictable.
re-watched Training Day (Antoine Fuqua, 2001): 5/5
Tightly paced and always entertaining with its two acts of pure excellence and corking dialogue. Not to mention one firecracker of a performance by Denzel.
re-watched Ariel (Aki Kaurismaki, 1988): 4/5
"What's this button for?"
Let the Sunshine In (Claire Denis, 2018): 2/5
Claire Denis's first sci-fi film: a world where no one wants to commit to being with Juliette Binoche. #moviepass
Paddington 2 (Paul King, 2017): 2/5
Sorry I'm a heartless asshole.
First Reformed (Paul Schrader, 2018): 4.5/5
Or, The Radicalization of a Country Priest. Pitch black arthouse film with intoxicating visuals, razor sharp storytelling, and nuanced craft. Enthralling. Paul Schrader is BACK, BABY!!!!! #moviepass
Manifesto (Julian Rosefeldt, 2015): 2/5
Cate Blanchett plays 13 characters reciting dozens of artistic and political manifestos, from Marx to Dogma '95. It isn't literally watching a favorite actor read the phone book, but the spliced-together manifestos are too many, too jumbled, and too context-less to pull any kind of coherent meaning. Was likely more successful in its initial form as as multi-screen art installation.
The Other Side of Hope (Aki Kaurismaki, 2017): 3.5/5
Funny and sad in equal measures.
Deadpool 2 (David Leitch, 2018): 2/5
I have little memory of having watched this. #moviepass
1922 (Zak Hilditch, 2017): 1.5/5
The only element that's lacking is the most important one - a sense of ratcheting tension and suspense to justify a 1h45m broody, atmospheric horror tale. See: The Witch for a movie akin to this, done right.
Wonderstruck (Todd Haynes, 2017): 1/5
I'll just stick to re-watching Safe and Carol, thanks.
Night and Day (Hong sang-soo, 2008): 2/5
I find Hong's structure too meandering, and his flat visual style only adds to the lack of engagement. Ugh and those obnoxious zooms.
re-watched Darwin's Nightmare (Hubert Sauper, 2004): 4/5
Fucked up and horrifying.
Lady Bird (Greta Gerwig, 2017): 3.5/5
Pleasant. Formulaic territory but makes up for it with charming leads.
re-watched L.A. Confidential (Curtis Hanson, 1997): 5/5
When you think about it, it's The Wizard of Oz - Bud gets a brain, Jack gets a heart, Ed gets the courage.
Tuesday, June 5, 2018
You
Were Never Really Here (Lynne Ramsay, 2018): 2/5
We
Need to Talk about Kevin (Lynne Ramsay, 2011): 2/5
Violent, poetic, depressing,
pointless.
The
Girl with All the Gifts (Com McCarthy, 2016): 2.5/5
Delivers genre thrills
but is only pretending temporarily to have more on its mind.
*
A Quiet Place (John Krasinski, 2018): 3/5
Super-tense but subtext
free.
Opening
Night (John Cassavetes, 1977): 2.5/5
Two
Weeks in Another Town, rw (Vincente Minnelli, 1962): 3/5
Self-dramatizing and self-congratulating.
Actors: what would we do without them? Two
Weeks gets an extra half point for having
one of greatest car scenes in the history of cinema.
Michael
Clayton, rw (Tony Gilroy, 2007): 3/5
Peak Clooney.
*
Ready Player One (Steven Spielberg, 2018): 1/5
Not my Iron Giant. Not
my Shining. “Only a great filmmaker could piss me off so much”—that’s bullshit,
right?
The
Little Foxes (William Wyler, 1941): 3/5
My least favorite of
the Wyler/Davis collabs. Nasty but a bit stage-bound.
Ponyo,
rw (Hayao Miyazaki, 2008): 5/5
Maybe the best ever
movie made for kindergartners (or younger).
Suspiria,
rw (Dario Argento, 1977): 3/5
Extreme style as substance.
The
Ornithologist (João Pedro Rodrigues, 2016): 5/5
Just keeps getting
weirder, more mysterious and more powerful as it goes.
Atlanta,
Season 2/“This is America” (Donald Glover/Hiro Murai, 2018): 5/5
Messy, complicated and strange.
New.
Barry,
Season 1 (Alec Berg/Bill Hader): 3/5
Some clichés and some
good stuff. Hader is charismatic.
Silicon
Valley, Season 5 (Mike Judge, et. al, 2018): 3.5/5
Continues to amuse.
The
Fallen Idol, rw (Carol Reed, 1948): 4/5
Maybe the best ever
movie about the tragic cluelessness of childhood. Richardson is great.
Creep
2 (Patrick Brice, 2017): 3/5
Almost spoiled by
self-consciousness, but the last third delivers.
*
Solo: A Star Wars Story (Ron Howard, 2018): 2/5
A boring adventure from an utterly skill-less director. Certainly the worst of new Star Wars movies.
A boring adventure from an utterly skill-less director. Certainly the worst of new Star Wars movies.
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
Amour Fou (Jessica Hausner, 2014): 2/5
Those Germans really know how to do romantic comedy. "I love you, I want you to kill yourself with me." It really is the height of Nihilistic devotion. Sociopolitically specious and frankly kind of dull, but then I didn't perceive it as a comedy—a recurring problem with a particular strain of mordant art cinema (cf. Lazarescu).
Ready Player One (Steven Spielberg, 2018): 1/5
A by-the-numbers exercise in narrative genericism* that plays to the fantasies of hardcore geeks old and young alike. Revels in its nonstop cavalcade of insipid pop culture references. #moviepass
*(So it's an extremely basic bullshit set up—blandly attractive white boy orphan [with obligatory Black Best Friend sidekick] has to Save the World and Get the Girl! The girl online could actually be a basement dwelling dude IRL. But, of course, when she finally appears in the flesh, she is a total babe who has one superficial "humanizing" flaw: a mild birthmark on her face. Our noble hero somehow finds it in his heart to love her anyway.)
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (Gus Van Sant, 1993): 2/5
Uma Thurman's prosthetic thumbs are so fucking horrible and distracting. Jesus Christ. Had way more fun with Tom Robbins' source novel. (Currently in the midst of devouring all of Robbins' writing - amazing writer.)
The Handmaid's Tale (Volker Schlondorff, 1990): 2.5/5
Haven't seen the Hulu series, haven't read the Margaret Atwood novel. At this point "Handmaid's Tale" is Trump-era liberal torture porn and I just can't do it.
The Post (Steven Spielberg, 2017): 2.5/5
Meryl does her thing. Tom does his thing. Please clap.
A Quiet Place (John Krasinski, 2018): 3/5
I dunno it might be a good idea to at least sometimes wear socks, but that's just me. And another thing: you would not choose Monopoly as your silent family game. Monopoly requires communication and negotiation, and often engenders conflict. Might as well play goddamn Operation. #moviepass
Isle of Dogs (Wes Anderson, 2018): 2.5/5
On the whole, the film didn't do much for me beyond give me a laugh or two every half hour. Once you get over the fact that they're dogs that talk like normal dudes, the humor ends there. #moviepass
Horse Money (Pedro Costa, 2014): 2/5
Another esoteric, challenging film by Portuguese master Pedro Costa. Much of it left me cold on an emotional level, and for every striking image that momentarily arrested me, an incantatory sequence left my mind wandering.
Needless pedantry: the title actually refers to a horse called Money, back in benighted Cape Verde (it was eaten by vultures, alas).
You Were Never Really Here (Lynn Ramsey, 2017): 3/5
Kubrick expressionism meets Scorsese ultraviolence for the Greatest Hits album of Disaffected Ferocity. Far more poetry than prose - and every bit as beautiful. #moviepass
The Work (Jarius McLeary, Gethin Aldous, 2017): 3/5
Once a week, convicts at Folsom Prison meet in the prison chapel for group therapy sessions. Twice a year, members of the general public are invited to join them for an intensive, four-day session. The Work is a documentary that follows one such session, serving as the cinematic equivalent of an exorcism that rips out the guts of toxic masculinity to reveal repressed vulnerability and deep sadness. A special subject indeed, but brace yourself.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (Luc Besson, 2017): 1/5
Might've worked better as a TV show. I feel like I watched the plots of 10 episodes.
WARNING: MAJOR RANT AHEAD. And another thing, I really hope the day comes when Dane DeHaan chooses to share with the world the incriminating photos he has of various bigwigs in the film industry that has allowed him to blackmail his way into becoming the lead actor in films. Because they must be absolutely fucking amazing. He's the absolute pits. And casting him as the lead role in a standalone $200 million sci-fi action film where said lead is meant to be a charismatic space adventurer and hero is more than enough evidence that Luc Besson has lost his damn mind. An unripe gratefruit has more screen presence than DeHaan but there's also the fact that HE CANNOT ACT.
That said, I'm sure he's a nice guy.
Disobedience (Sebastian Lelio, 2018): 3/5
Turgid, but well-acted drama with some hot Rachels. The woman sitting in front of me whispered “not bad” after the sex scene and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me in a movie theater. #moviepass
Ghost Stories (Jeremy Dyson, Andy Nyman, 2018): 2.5/5
An attempt at an anthology style horror film with no sense for how to do the wrap around segments, wholly underwhelming, totally reliant on jump scares and with terrible dialogue delivered poorly even by a veteran like Martin Freeman. Half a star for Alex Lawther though; I’d watch that weirdo read out the phone book any day. And another half a star for "The Monster Mash" playing during the end credits. Would not recommend watching this. Would recommend listening to "The Monster Mash". #moviepass
Sunday, April 15, 2018
The Disaster Artist (James Franco, 2017): 3/5
Back when I worked at Cinefile, we had a section aptly called "Holy Fucking Shit". Guess which title was always prominently displayed on there?
Brawl in Cell Block 99 (S. Craig Zahler, 2017): 3.5/5
Fantastic genre piece. Loved the stylization, the writing, the characters. #originality #ftw
The Florida Project (Sean Baker, 2017): 2/5
Cinematic slog about poverty and the tired theme of childhood resilience, with indie affectations. But even with my general abhorrence for children and the state of Florida, and my apathetic feelings for Sean Baker's work, it's hard not to be smitten with Willem Dafoe.
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh, 2017): 4/5
Me: Hi
Frances Mcdormand: shut the fuck up and die ugly
Me: Oh my god yes anything for you
I, Tonya (Craig Gillespie, 2017): 2/5
I, Michelle am glad I didn't pay to see this.
The Shape of Water (Guillermo del Toro, 2017): 2/5
WASTING WATER IS NOT ROMANTIC. #wtf #bestpicture #really? #oscarssolame
Call Me By Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017): 2.5/5
Watching this really was the definition of neutral for me, if not bordering on slight dislike. It feels more like a puzzle with mostly missing and broken pieces and I'm not sure what "brilliant" bigger picture I'm supposed to be seeing. The film itself and multiple characters within it talk about the love between Oliver and Elio as if it is a rarity and a beautiful thing, but where is it ever like that? There's NO chemistry and we barely see them interact together in any significant way, making their inevitable coupling feel blasé. And another thing: Armie who?? Other than being conventionally attractive, I honestly found nothing intriguing, memorable, or revelatory about him or his performance. #overrated
Battle of the Sexes (Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris, 2017): 2.5/5
This is a GAYS only event, GO HOME
A Hole in My Heart (Lukas Moodysson, 2004): 1/5
A conveyor belt of depravity. Despite its [SCREECHING NOISE] efforts to employ avant - [SOUND CUTS FOR 4 SECONDS, THEN SCREECHING NOISE OVER PIXELATION] garde technique to discuss [GOES NIGHTVISION AND SOUND DOESN'T MATCH IMAGE] sexual desire and past trauma and parenting I don [SCREECHING, SCARE CUTS TO VAGINAL SURGERY] 't think the film succeeds at articulating any of its ideas astutely.
Bone Tomahawk (S. Craig Zahler, 2015): 4.5/5
Zahler's a talent. Simply superb. A brutal, smart, literary Western about what is basically a story of four white dudes saving a captured woman from Native Americans, made on a low budget. One of the most impressive debuts in recent years. (And I'm no gorehound or genre aficionado.) Zahler is two for two so far. Can't wait to see what he comes up with next.
Fingersmith (Aisling Walsh, 2005): 5/5
Lesbian Sally Hawkins: way better than Fish Fucking Sally Hawkins. (This is also superior to Chan-wook Park's version.)
Thelma (Joachim Trier, 2017): 3/5
Sheltered by her parents to the point of neurosis, 18-year-old Thelma heads off to college and begins to feel the stirrings of attraction toward new friend Anja. Then things kinda take a turn for the worst. And the weird. Kinda like a Nordic version of CARRIE with a more sexually actualized protagonist.
Beloved (Jonathan Demme, 1998): 3/5
A scene for scene, line for line adaptation of the acclaimed Toni Morrison novel of the same name. A sprawling and bracingly uncompromising studio project. #RIP #jonathandemme
Black Panther (Ryan Coogler, 2018): 3.5/5
Ryan Coogler to film composer: "Make every theme so rhythmically intense that no white people can clap along."
Phantom Thread (PTA, 2017): 3.5/5
Me Whenever Someone Causes Me Any Minor Inconvenience: are you a special agent sent here to ruin my evening and possibly my entire life? Is this my house? This is my house, isn't it? Or did somebody drop me on foreign soil behind enemy lines? I'm surrounded by all sides. When the hell did this happen? Who are you? Do you have a gun? Are you here to kill me? Hmm? Do you have a gun? Where is your gun? Show me your gun.
Molly's Game (Aaron Sorkin, 2017): 2.5/5
Jessica Chastain really brought the "I was told by Apple Care" realness that this role required.
Back when I worked at Cinefile, we had a section aptly called "Holy Fucking Shit". Guess which title was always prominently displayed on there?
Brawl in Cell Block 99 (S. Craig Zahler, 2017): 3.5/5
Fantastic genre piece. Loved the stylization, the writing, the characters. #originality #ftw
The Florida Project (Sean Baker, 2017): 2/5
Cinematic slog about poverty and the tired theme of childhood resilience, with indie affectations. But even with my general abhorrence for children and the state of Florida, and my apathetic feelings for Sean Baker's work, it's hard not to be smitten with Willem Dafoe.
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh, 2017): 4/5
Me: Hi
Frances Mcdormand: shut the fuck up and die ugly
Me: Oh my god yes anything for you
I, Tonya (Craig Gillespie, 2017): 2/5
I, Michelle am glad I didn't pay to see this.
The Shape of Water (Guillermo del Toro, 2017): 2/5
WASTING WATER IS NOT ROMANTIC. #wtf #bestpicture #really? #oscarssolame
Call Me By Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017): 2.5/5
Watching this really was the definition of neutral for me, if not bordering on slight dislike. It feels more like a puzzle with mostly missing and broken pieces and I'm not sure what "brilliant" bigger picture I'm supposed to be seeing. The film itself and multiple characters within it talk about the love between Oliver and Elio as if it is a rarity and a beautiful thing, but where is it ever like that? There's NO chemistry and we barely see them interact together in any significant way, making their inevitable coupling feel blasé. And another thing: Armie who?? Other than being conventionally attractive, I honestly found nothing intriguing, memorable, or revelatory about him or his performance. #overrated
Battle of the Sexes (Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris, 2017): 2.5/5
This is a GAYS only event, GO HOME
A Hole in My Heart (Lukas Moodysson, 2004): 1/5
A conveyor belt of depravity. Despite its [SCREECHING NOISE] efforts to employ avant - [SOUND CUTS FOR 4 SECONDS, THEN SCREECHING NOISE OVER PIXELATION] garde technique to discuss [GOES NIGHTVISION AND SOUND DOESN'T MATCH IMAGE] sexual desire and past trauma and parenting I don [SCREECHING, SCARE CUTS TO VAGINAL SURGERY] 't think the film succeeds at articulating any of its ideas astutely.
Bone Tomahawk (S. Craig Zahler, 2015): 4.5/5
Zahler's a talent. Simply superb. A brutal, smart, literary Western about what is basically a story of four white dudes saving a captured woman from Native Americans, made on a low budget. One of the most impressive debuts in recent years. (And I'm no gorehound or genre aficionado.) Zahler is two for two so far. Can't wait to see what he comes up with next.
Fingersmith (Aisling Walsh, 2005): 5/5
Lesbian Sally Hawkins: way better than Fish Fucking Sally Hawkins. (This is also superior to Chan-wook Park's version.)
Thelma (Joachim Trier, 2017): 3/5
Sheltered by her parents to the point of neurosis, 18-year-old Thelma heads off to college and begins to feel the stirrings of attraction toward new friend Anja. Then things kinda take a turn for the worst. And the weird. Kinda like a Nordic version of CARRIE with a more sexually actualized protagonist.
Beloved (Jonathan Demme, 1998): 3/5
A scene for scene, line for line adaptation of the acclaimed Toni Morrison novel of the same name. A sprawling and bracingly uncompromising studio project. #RIP #jonathandemme
Black Panther (Ryan Coogler, 2018): 3.5/5
Ryan Coogler to film composer: "Make every theme so rhythmically intense that no white people can clap along."
Phantom Thread (PTA, 2017): 3.5/5
Me Whenever Someone Causes Me Any Minor Inconvenience: are you a special agent sent here to ruin my evening and possibly my entire life? Is this my house? This is my house, isn't it? Or did somebody drop me on foreign soil behind enemy lines? I'm surrounded by all sides. When the hell did this happen? Who are you? Do you have a gun? Are you here to kill me? Hmm? Do you have a gun? Where is your gun? Show me your gun.
Molly's Game (Aaron Sorkin, 2017): 2.5/5
Jessica Chastain really brought the "I was told by Apple Care" realness that this role required.
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Molly’s
Game (Aaron Sorkin, 2017): 2/5
Overwritten.
Also overacted and over-directed. And at 2 hours and 20 minutes overlong. Is it
weird that Chastain so often picks roles where she’s a genius or goddess? The
female Will Smith?
Help!
(Richard Lester, 1965): 2.5/5
The
Beatles/Lester invent the Monkees, but the faux-Indians in brownface with parody-level
accents? #problematic
The
Milky Way (Luis Buñuel, 1969): 3/5
A
programmatic but occasionally amusing attack on dogma. A warm-up for the
superior Discreet Charm and Phantom.
Paddington
2 (Paul King, 2018): 3/5
The
whole fam enjoyed this sweet movie containing some nice bits of physical
comedy. Sally Hawkins’s best recent performance.
Sexy
Beast, rw (Jonathan Glazer, 2000): 3/5
A
surprisingly conventional gangster movie in comic mode, with at least two great
performances. Forevermore owns the Stranglers’ “Peaches.”
Three
Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh, 2017): 2.5/5
The
less talented McDonagh brother. Defined/marred by intentional whiplashes of tone
and character.
The
Shape of Water (Guillermo del Toro, 2017): 2/5
Marketed
as a romance, but it spends so much time with villain Shannon that it becomes
more of a Guantanamo Bay analogy. But then is it OK for the analogue of a
Pakistani or Afghanistani to be a fish? #problematic
A
Futile and Stupid Gesture (David Wain, 2018): 2/5
A
fiction remake of recent documentary, Drunk
Stoned Brilliant Dead. You know, like Apocalypse Now was the fiction remake
of Hearts of Darkness.
The
Cloverfield Paradox (Julius Onah, 2018): 1.5/5
Hard
to say what makes this movie’s illogic ruinous and Annihilation’s exhilarating, yet here we are.
The
Florida Project (Sean Baker, 2017): 4/5
Pastel
neo-realism. I could barely stand to be in the company of these grating brats.
Still, the end floored me.
Personal
Shopper (Olivier Assayas, 2016): 3/5
Un
story ghost. Trains, sexy outfits, dead brothers. Surprisingly
genre-satisfying.
Creep
(Patrick Brice, 2014): 4/5
Michelle
was right about this effective and efficient thriller (77 minutes!) of
discomfort, shot on a shoestring. Low-key great performance from Duplass.
Le
Samouri, rw (Jean-Pierre Melville, 1967): 3/5
Amazing
what a great, long coat can do for the audience’s reception of a loser who
loses and loses. Not in my Melville top six.
Dawson
City: Frozen Time (Bill Morrison, 2016): 4/5
Fascinating
in both its subject matter and methodology. All film is documentary.
Valerian
and the City of Thousand Planets (Luc Besson, 2017): 1.5/5
Considering
(because of?) how much is happening on the screen, it’s amazingly dull.
Winter
Kills (William Richert, 1979): 1.5/5
Tonally,
a trainwreck. With Bridges, John Huston, Anthony Perkins, Eli Wallach, Sterling
Hayden, Dorothy Malone, Ralph Meeker, and Toshiro Mifune—each of whom seems to
be performing in a different movie.
Just
Ancient Loops, 26 mins (Bill Morrison, 2012): 3/5
Some
great stuff here.
The
Post (Steven Spielberg, 2017): 2/5
Crack
for 60+ liberals.
Columbus
(Kogonada, 2017): 2/5
As
inert and rigid as the buildings it fetishizes.
Annihilation
(Alex Garland, 2018): 4.5/5
A
head-trip into mystery. It doesn’t all work, but what does is gold.
Stalker,
rw (Andrei Tarkovsky, 1979): 4.5/5
A
nice pair with Annihilation of
course.
Ratatouille,
rw (Brad Bird, 2007): 4.5/5
My
favorite Pixar movie.
The
Wind Rises (Hayao Miyazaki, 2013): 4.5/5
Why oh why did I wait so long to watch this last movie from one of my favorite living
filmmakers? Master storytelling, amazing flying sequences, super-expressive
hair, and a unique view of just-pre-war Japan.
The
Ritual (Davide Bruckner, 2018): 2/5
I’m
a sucker for these horror and sci-fi movies that just show up one day on
Netflix, although they are mostly forgettable. Case in point: did this rip off Blair
Witch or Deliverance? I can’t even remember.
Isle
of Dogs (Wes Anderson, 2018): 4.5/5
Wes
is nine for nine, for me. Possibly the most detailed movie of all time. Funny
and surprisingly relevant.
Better
Call Saul, season 3 (Vince Gilligan, et. al, 2017): 2/5
As
the show increasingly morphs to a Breaking
Bad prequel, it’s as if my favorite TV show is being slowly invaded by an
inferior one.
High
Maintenance, season 1 & 2 (Ben Sinclair & Katja Blichfeld, 2016): 4.5/5
An anthology show featuring pithy portraits of all kinds of New Yorkers, loosely strung together by their amiable weed dealer, always a welcome presence. It’s a real pleasure to not know what any given episode is going to contain.
An anthology show featuring pithy portraits of all kinds of New Yorkers, loosely strung together by their amiable weed dealer, always a welcome presence. It’s a real pleasure to not know what any given episode is going to contain.
Thursday, March 15, 2018
The Square (Ruben Ostlund, 2017): 4/5
Captivating, enjoyable Toni Erdmann-like absurdist, dry comedy about a museum curator and the art world. Loved the slow-burning eccentricity.
Shoah (Claude Lanzmann, 1985): 5/5
"If you could lick my heart, it would poison you."
Berlin Alexanderplatz (Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1980): 2/5
For RWF completionists only, otherwise don't bother because it's neither a game changer nor a masterpiece. Oh jeez and the epilogue is batshit craaaazy and comes out of leftfield. Took me like, two weeks to finish watching all 16 hours.
Gook (Justin Chon, 2017): 2/5
Hollow and simple-minded movie about Koreans v. Blacks during the Rodney King riots. Clearly the work of an inexperienced cineaste with financial restrictions. Though images are starkly beautiful at times, the whole thing's a tonal mess.
re-watched The Sopranos (David Chase, 1999-2007): 5/5
Two things: 1) I miss James Gandolfini and 2) I still have a thing for Dr. Melfi.
Columbus (Kogonada, 2017): 3/5
Another tranquil, slice-of-life film about thwarted dreams and father/son disappointments, but this time with added discourse on architecture and not-a-hair-out-of-place perfectly composed shots like, non-stop as a cinematic technique. (Wow who the heck knew about the existence of Columbus, IN btw?)
Dementia 13 (Richard LeMay, 2017): 1/5
Reimagining of the 1963 Francis Ford Coppola horror film of the same name. (I haven't seen it.) The immediate threats terrorizing the Halorans in their haunted castle are, get this: a group of robbers AND an evil doll AND their dead sister AND an insane masked axe murderer; yet, the most terrifying aspects of this remake is its complete lack of originality and rampant cliches.
Blair Witch (Adam Wingard, 2017): 1/5
This is roughly the movie that most people expected in 1999, which only amplifies my love and appreciation of what we got instead.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (Joss Whedon, 2008): 4/5
Hilarious/clever/smart 45-minute musical (only 45 minutes! *kisses fingers, chef-like*) about a super villain (Dr. Horrible, played by Neil Patrick Harris) and his archnemesis (Captain Hammer, played by Nathan Fillion). Great fun.
1408 (Mikael Hafstrom, 2007): 2.5/5
Another Stephen King adaptation.Watchable because of the solid atmosphere and tension. The last act fails to satisfy though and comes off as half-cooked.
The Electric Horseman (Sydney Pollack, 1979): 2/5
An O.K. Horse Movie.
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