Trusting the nation who had to be told not to eat Tide Pods to do the right thing tonight

 

Borat Subsequent MovieFilm (Jason Woliner, 2020): 3.5/5

I wish I saw this in a packed movie theater. That entire cake shop to “abortion clinic” segment was a standout. High fives to Janise the Babysitter, to the woman actually nodding approvingly during Tutar's speech (Maria Bakalova is a force of nature, equally daring), and that girl who was disgusted by her father's comment at the debutante ball. Extra half star for Sacha Baron Cohen who literally risked his life making this; his complete and utter disregard for his own safety has really provided us with some of the best content of the 21st century. One of the only movies that could ever capture the complete insanity that this year has been.

Totally Under Control (Alex Gibney, 2020): 3/5

Two hours of smart people looking sad, angry, and scared because they were silenced and suppressed by a legion of unremarkable dipshits who fell upwards in the anti-meritocratic hierarchy of the Republican Party. (Fire up the guillotines and set up mass trials STAT.)

And I get that it’s hard to watch a horror movie when you’re still living in the horror movie, but at the very least, watch this to see the twenty-something year-old Max discuss his experience of what it was like to volunteer on Jared Kushner's task force of unpaid, inexperienced college kids trying to acquire PPE in the midst of the pandemic from their own personal Gmail accounts. Just fucking unreal. Kushner is so confident in his ability to easily solve ANY issue, despite being hopelessly average and unsuccessful in all his endeavors.

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Aaron Sorkin, 2020): 2.5/5

2-hour courtroom drama that’s deliberately, depressingly timely (not to mention a little centrist) in a way I find sanctimonious and not entirely productive.

Black is King (Beyonce Knowles, 2020): 3/5

No surprise, a huge dose of gorgeous, often poetic imagery and stunning performance. The LION KING stuff robs it of a not-insignificant amount of power. Felt like calculated corporate synergy, really bummed me out.

On the Rocks (Sofia Coppola, 2020): 2.5/5

Sofia Coppola got a call from Apple and gathered all of her rich friends together to make this generic corporate assignment about tedious rich people with nothing problems.

Kajillionaire (Miranda July, 2020): 2.5/5

Typical July: maudlin and aggressively quirky; absurdism mixed with earnestness. Kajillionaire, which indeed kicks off in full-bore crazytown mode, got less and less interesting to me as Evan Rachel Wood's bizarrely-named and -voiced Old Dolio gradually becomes conscious of the emotional void that she's inhabited for her entire unorthodox life. It's essentially a weirder variation on that old favorite of mine, "my parents didn't love me, or failed to demonstrate it enough." Also never quite bought the stealth romance, either, despite first-rate work from Gina Rodriguez as the ostensibly normal character.

Unhinged (Derrick Borte, 2020): 2/5

What is there to discuss? This man is plainly not hinged!

The Rhythm Section (Reed Morano, 2020): 2/5

How about LA FEMME NIKITA except a big mopey drag and shot like a prestige TV pilot?

Sling Blade (Billy Bob Thornton, 1996): 3/5

There's just no getting around the fact that it's really pretty squishy and sentimental at its core, like a version of Old Yeller in which Old Yeller shoots himself to save Travis. (At the same time, I'm incredibly susceptible to stories of self-sacrifice, so there is still that.) Thornton gives an amazing physical performance.

Irresistible (Jon Stewart, 2020): 2/5

I’m convinced this movie was somehow written and shot in 2006 and kept in a vault until now. Basically a dogshit version of "Veep" that feels like it was written by A.I. fed a diet of cable news, Pod Save America, and right-wing radio.

The Way Back (Gavin O’Connor, 2020): 2/5

Mighty Ducks style basketball team, kids with cancer, drunk Batman—this movie’s got everything, except...show us the fucking BACK TATTOO, AFFLECK.

Chemical Hearts (Richard Tanne, 2020): 1/5

How do movies like this get approved? How did the actors feel comfortable speaking these words?

Ava (Tate Taylor, 2020): 1/5

There isn't a single novel moment or exciting twist or decent action beat in this entire misbegotten endeavor. Aggressively generic, cheap-looking and ugly, embarrassingly acted, and haphazardly edited. You've seen better terrible TV pilots.

rewatched La Haine (Matthieu Kassovitz, 1995): 4/5

Kassovitz hasn’t made anything worthwhile since. One-hit wonder.

October Halloween/Horror Movie Month

rewatched The Shining (Stanley Kubrick, 1980): 4/5

A tuxedo-clad man with a furry fetish has the best night of his life rudely interrupted by a marital dispute.

rewatched It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown ( Bill Melendez, 1966): 5/5

TRY AND FIND A FLAW YOU CAN'T

rewatched The Exorcist (William Friedkin, 1973): 5/5

Still scary, but now it’s less scary than heartbreaking, suffused with grief and guilt and dread, with the sense that there's no system truly prepared to combat madness or pain; there's only the trial and error of barely surviving them.

The Exorcist III (William Peter Blatty, 1990): 3/5

Missing the all-encompassing sadness and blunt craft of the original but still an idiosyncratic movie with some good shocks and sturdy performances. It also contains one of the best, scariest scenes in the entire history of horror (you will know it when you see it).

rewatched The Sixth Sense (M. Night Shyamalan, 1999): 3.5/5

Still very good. Shyamalan's seemingly effortless formal patience generates all of the tension here, because not much actually takes place narratively. Mostly you're watching this kid slowly have a nervous breakdown because he can see ghosts. It also can't be overstated just how good Osment really is here, especially in his scenes with Toni Collette.

rewatched The Elephant Man (David Lynch, 1980): 4/5

The rare hybrid of horror and weepie in which both genres prove equally potent. This time I teared up at the conclusion of the Romeo and Juliet reading.

Boys State (Jesse Moss & Amanda McBaine, 2020): 3/5

If you are really interested in politics in high school you should be constitutionally barred from ever becoming a politician, and probably from voting as well.

Relic (Natalie Erika James, 2020): 2/5

Glacially-paced allegory on growing old, specifically the toll of degenerative illness, stated with all the subtlety and insight you’d expect from a twenty-something, self-proclaimed fan of J-horror.

Nightmare Cinema (Alejandro Brugués, Joe Dante, 2018): 0.5/5

Amateur hour. The ineptitude (filmmaking and performances alike) is only matched by its shameless lack of imagination.

rewatched Psycho (Alfred Hitchcock, 1960): 5/5

One of my greatest regrets (as a cinephile, that is—let's not get carried away) is that I never got the chance to see this film properly, without foreknowledge of its, uh, change in perspective. (Though I feel like the unusual credit order—"and Janet Leigh as Marion Crane"—would tip a contemporary audience that something is up. Maybe that wasn't a convention yet in 1960? It was clearly intended to justify her early exit.) I was denied the initial, unrepeatable raw pleasure of being fully invested in Marion's predicament, only to have that investment abruptly and cruelly yanked away. What's remarkable is how magnificently the first 50 minutes work even when you know that most of what you're seeing is fundamentally irrelevant. Still my favorite Hitchcock film.

rewatched The Blair Witch Project (Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sanchez, 1999): 5/5

I won't be dissuaded: found footage horror begins and ends here. This is literally the blueprint and I don’t think anything will ever top this super specific kind of scary or their landmark marketing campaign. Brilliant use of the dislocation of sound and image throughout; Heather Donahue's screams echoing from afar, captured by someone else's DAT, as we see her own direct viewpoint via handheld camera. Love the tent attack; Heather tearing through the darkness, shrieking in blind terror at something we cannot see and she cannot understand. The Blair Witch Project remains frightening because the source of its high-strangeness horror is incomprehensible. Whereas your Paranormal Activities and the like lazily operate on tired cliches of ghosts and demons, the threat of Blair Witch is nebulous and unknowable—at bottom, all we can really be sure of is that a group of people are trapped in a hostile landscape stained with centuries of atrocity, from witch lynchings to child murders and environmental destruction.

rewatched Diabolique (Henri Clouzot, 1955): 4.5/5

A superb vise-tightener, the template for pretty much every thriller predicated on spooky inexplicable shit that's been made since. If only its successors wrapped up so succinctly.

rewatched May (Lucky McKee, 2002): 3/5

Jeremy Sisto's character does not fall in love with May after she serves him Gatorade in a wine glass, what a completely fucking unrelatable character. Loved Anna Faris as that horny slutty lesbo.

rewatched Carrie (Brian De Palma, 1976): 3/5

A film constructed entirely around one bravura sequence, which De Palma executes so thrillingly that the rest scarcely matters.

A Tale of Two Sisters (Kim Jee Woon, 2003): 3/5

The strange is strong in this one. Creepy sisters, jump scares, misdirection and synchronized periods. This is your honest to goodness fully kosher South Korean horror flick.

rewatched Hellraiser (Clive Barker, 1987): 2.5/5

I’m not here to kink-shame but ew.

rewatched Evil Dead (Fede Alvarez, 2013): 2.5/5

Definitely one of the better horror remakes out there. (Arguably the best, according to Leigh.) A decent balls to the walls gorefest. Yikes, what does the NC-17 cut look like???

Horror October 

From the Criterion Channel 70s Horror collection, and more...

Black Christmas (Bob Clark, 1974): 4/5

The first slasher movie, they say. It still works. Clark goes on to make Porky’s 1 &2, A Christmas Story and Stallone’s Rhinestone.

Deathdream (Bob Clark, 1974): 3/5

When people came back from Vietnam, they were pretty messed up/dead.

The Hills Have Eyes (Wes Craven, 1977): 4/5

The bad guy stuff is campy and fun in a deformity-representative-exploito way. Competent acting and excellent lighting contribute substantially to why it all works so well. Also, our protagonist is super-gay and repressed, which is interesting.

Season of the Witch (George A. Romero, 1972): 2/5

Unhappy housewife gets into witchcraft. Restrained.

Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (John Hancock, 1971): 3.5/5

Zohra Lampert’s excellent performance as the titular Jessica anchors this film in almost Cassavetes-type realism, which really helps when the spooky stuff overtakes the more interesting relationship stuff. 

Long Weekend (Colin Eggleston, 1978): 3/5

A couple breaks up over the course of weekend camping trip on a remote beach (where there’s also some desultory metaphoric nature-fights-back stuff.) This was when I started to just watch Bergman movies, where I could enjoy couples breaking up without the other stuff getting in the way.

The Beyond (Fulci, 1981):2/5

Someone built a hotel over one of the gates of hell. Fucking contractors. Bananas but boring anyway. 

Trick ‘r Treat (Michael Dougherty, 2007): 2.5/5

Pastiche of 80s horror. Skin deep but pretty fun.

Martyrs (Pascal Laugier, 2008): 3.5/5

Part of the French extreme horror wave of the aughts, this is at times extremely hard to watch. A visceral experience, nihilistic and thrilling.

The Descent, rw (Neil Marshall, 2007): 3/5

This story of a caving expedition gone wrong was not quite as good as I remembered. I did turn it off half-way through (and returned to it the next night) but was it because I “didn’t like it” or because I couldn’t take the feeling of claustrophobia? I’ll never know.

Kwaidan (Masaki Kobayashi, 1964): 2/5

Painfully slow and long but at times worth it for the magnificently beautiful artificiality akin to Gene Kelly/Vincent Minnelli dream ballet sequences. Features a lot of that eerily slow Noh play-influenced stuff that shows up in a lot of Japanese cinema. Completely opposite feel from the director’s 10-hour trilogy, The Human Condition, (which I also watched: a 3.5/5) which is much more Western in its pacing, mise-en-scene and dramatic strategies. 

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane (Robert Aldrich, 1962): 3/5

As fan of John Waters and last year’s Feud, I can’t believe I waited so long to watch this. I was surprised to discover that the acting was quite good, especially from Crawford. I thought it would be grotesquery for its own sake—and it was—but it was more traditionally entertaining than I had anticipated.

And some horror and other stuff from 2020

The Wolf of Snow Hollow (Jim Cummings, 2020): 2.5/5

Surprisingly bland, coming from the writer/director of Thunder Road, which pushed the small-town cop plot in an idiosyncratic direction full of self-loathing and self-destruction.

Invisible Man (Leign Whannell, 2020): 1.5/5

Hate-watched the final hour. I loved the deadly-empty-room stuff, but the social politics was garbage—and I say that as someone who basically agrees with the filmmakers.

Babyteeth (Shannon Murphy, 2020): 4/5

Ben Mendelson and the rest of the cast are excellent. How do they keep making movies about teenagers dying from cancer? Still: Sob sob sob.

On the Rocks (Sofia Coppola, 2020): 3.5/5

I was charmed. Nice to see Bill Murray actually deal with a script and character—he’s really good at it. In a way, it’s another Sofia Coppola movie about a poor little rich girl who’s a prisoner of her privilege, but this one also offers Woody Allen-ish effervescence. 

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (Jason Woliner, 2020): 3/5

I was amused. The satire could easily have been more specific, yet I kept being reminded of Blazing Saddles (highest possible compliment). If Trump wins tomorrow, I will personally throttle everyone involved for pre-celebrating.

Where All Those Horror Movies Pointed

This is not a particularly original observation, but I started to notice that many of these horror movies were essentially past-trauma, relationship-on-the-rocks movies that used horror metaphors and degenerated into besides-the-point bloody resolutions. If you throw out that those two latter elements, you get a Bergman movie, right? All these movies convinced me that Liv Ullman was one of the greatest of all time.

Scenes from a Marriage (Ingmar Bergman, 1974): 4.5/5

I had to wait until I had some distance from my marriage and other relationship breakups to enjoy this. Not banal bickering, but instead adults changing over 10 years and really fucking having it out about things that are meaningful to them. Incisive and exact.

Autumn Sonata (Ingmar Bergman, 1978): 3/5

In the movie’s central scene the daughter tells the mother exactly and at length what was wrong with her parenting. Harrowing. 

Shame (Ingmar Bergman, 1968): 4/5

Actually a pretty great war movie in the neutral, men-with-guns mode of The Red and the White. Plus, all the while, the story of a relationship coming together and breaking up. 

The Passion of Anna (Ingmar Bergman, 1968): 4/5

Four psychologically rich and realistic characters full of philosophies and past traumas bounce off one another. Full of lovely, soft colors that contrast with the violence of the emotions on display. 

Remember the Night (Mitchell Liesen, 1940): 3/5
There's an offhand moment here where Stanwyck looks at MacMurray and softly says "Gee, you're sweet." and it melted me across 80 years and through my TV.

High Sierra (Raoul Walsh, 1941): 3/5
"It sure is easy to be wrong in this world."

Clara’s Ghost (Bridey Elliot, 2018): 1/5
Half-assed and intensely annoying. And it’s as poorly lit as any film I’ve seen in a while, with the hideous yellowish tinge that I believe you get when using a house's existing lamps and ordinary household bulbs while doing nothing to correct for it.

Murder on a Sunday Morning (Jean-Xavier de Lestrade, 2001): 3.5/5
From the French production team that made the brilliant 'The Staircase' series, comes another great courtroom battle - an outstanding, telling case of police incompetence and the masterful work of two public defenders. The case is even more relevant now than it was in 2001. Important, infuriating, and in the end, a very satisfying doc.

Caniba (Véréna Paravel & Lucien Castaing-Taylor, 2017): 2/5
Imagine Grey Gardens but featuring a literal cannibal and his masochist brother, and it’s not good. It’s actually too infrequently haunting and is bridled by its lackadaisical, thoroughly off-putting form: Whispery, floating shots in extreme closeup, wafting in and out of focus, soaked in what appears to be a purposely staggered, stilted cadence by the two brothers.

The Wandering Earth (Frant Gwo, 2019): 2/5
Worth watching just to see all the archetypes of American disaster movies filtered through a distinctly foreign lens, emerging out the other end as something that gives you a better view of its home country’s culture. Also the plot point involves LIGHTING JUPITER ON FIRE IN ORDER TO TURN THE EARTH INTO A GIANT BULLET.

Don't nobody tell Neil Degrasse Tyson about this film.

revvatched TheVVitch (Rob Eggers, 2015): 5/5
i revvatched this movie thinking that it couldn't possibly fuck me up tvvice and you knovv vvhat i vvas very vvrong. #bah

rewatched The Godfather (Francis Ford Coppola, 1972): 5/5
Very good movie! Tons of crime.

rewatched The Godfather: Part II (Francis Ford Coppola, 1974): 5/5
If you like the original Godfather, you'll like this - a lot of the same gang AND they go to Italy.

The Truth (Hirokazu Koreeda, 2019): 3.5/5
Contrary to its lofty title but comfortable within its maker’s filmography, Koreeda’s THE TRUTH is a very tranquil little movie. It favors natural details over grand statements; light dramedy over heavy content. This modest approach is not only found in the quiet Parisian ambience, but in the leisurely mosaic of moments Koreeda is so adept at creating and capturing, doing so with the aid of a smoothly intuitive camera and flawless main trio of performers. When Catherine Deneuve’s feisty, 70-something actress frequently forgets whether her old industry friends and foes are still alive or not, Koreeda doesn’t play this for cliched fading-memory melodrama, but as a wry facet of the character’s comical self-absorption. 100 minutes of good company and good craft. Extra half star for 2 French cinema titans sharing the same screen. Gotta love it.

Straight Up (James Sweeney, 2019): 3/5
Funny, unique, and genuine. Imagine BOOKSMART, but written by Aaron Sorkin. Lot of personality in its writing and presentation and James Sweeney & Katie Findlay are great. A very impressive directorial debut from Sweeney, looking forward to seeing what he does next.

The Twentieth Century (Matthew Rankin, 2019): 3/5
Buck wild Canadian political satire and a stylistic powerhouse of originality. Draws inspiration from German Expressionism, Guy Madden, and Monty Python. Not an easy work to decipher; you have to be a Canadian well-versed in national history to see through its facade. Still glad I watched it though.

Bad Education (Cory Finley, 2019): 3/5
Or, Wolf of Wall Street High School Edition
BAD EDUCATION tackles the largest school embezzlement scandal in American history with dark humor and even darker deeds, all for the supposed greater good. Hugh Jackman and Allison Janney are both excellent while Cory Finley directs with an assured hand.

The Burnt Orange Heresy (Giuseppe Capotondi, 2019): 2.5/5
A rich guy hires an art critic to obtain one of the last paintings of a reclusive painter. Lifeless, uninspired, and shallow overall. Extra half star for the immensely talented and more importantly 6’3 Elizabeth Debicki.

The Devil All the Time (Antonio Campos, 2020): 3.5/5
Or, White Man Buffet: The Movie
I'm a sucker for atmospheric southern noir and unrelenting portraits of religion & violence, so this was right up my alley.


Nathan for You Seasons 1 - 4 (2013 - 2017): 5/5
Oscar. Emmy. Peabody. All awards that Nathan Fielder deserved to win for this masterpiece, yet all awards that he was denied. It’s not a snub, it’s a crime. And you’re all under arrest.

Antebellum (Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz, 2020): 2.5/5
Or, SPOILER ALERT: Get Out of The Village
The first third of ANTEBELLUM is dreadful, as though directors Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz read Jacques Rivette's essay on the tracking shot in KAPO (1960) and thought "we will do everything Rivette called morally objectionable." Also, anyone with a sense of history knows about the usual cycle of African Americans being branded, beaten, shot, stabbed, raped, and tortured throughout history. Frankly, enough with the constant programming of harm done to black bodies on screen. Extra half star for Janelle Monae who in spite of everything remains magnetic as ever.

rewatched Amelie (Jean-Pierre Jeunet, 2001): 4/5
I am unrepentant in my admiration and unreservedly adore the entire opening movement, with its pell-mell pace and obsessive cataloguing and droll Dussollier narration. I can understand why some feel oppressed by cutesy flourishes like the animal-shaped clouds and the traveling garden gnome; the film is aggressively whimsical, to be sure, but see also every single Wes Anderson joint. 

Escape at Dannemora (Ben Stiller, 2018): 2.5/5
I think the hillbilly and white trash anti-defamation league would like a word with Eric Lange, whose portrayal of the troglodyte Lyle is guaranteed to offend almost everyone. Paul Dano is especially good at crawling around in the dark, sweating, and looking grimy. Patricia Arquette is perfectly horrifying as a really awful human being. Doesn't really add up to anything poignant, but it’s definitely a wild story.

First Cow (Kelly Reichardt, 2019): 4/5
When the final line of dialogue was spoken—at once hugely significant and utterly mundane—I instantly thought, 'That's it. She should just end the movie right here. She's actually going to, isn't she?’ And she did.

rewatched Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (David Hand, 1937): 3.5/5
Hey, remember when we as a society were totally cool with traumatizing small children? According to Wikipedia, Walt had the animators watch Nosferatu and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, which is pretty amazing. I was under the impression that getting hold of movies from decades past was all but impossible at the time, but maybe that wasn't the case if you ran a studio.

A Safe Place (Henry Jaglom, 1971): 1/5
Truly insufferable wankery, just beat-your-head-against-the-wall stuff. Jaglom has no ideas, only a total commitment to "artistic freedom," so he just shoots his impressive cast yammering about whatever comes to mind (there's an entire scene devoted to Tuesday Weld prodding a guy to think up an old-style exchange for his phone number), then splices in quick shots of previous and/or future imagery at random to break up the monotony. When in doubt, he cuts to poor Orson, who flails.

First Girl I Loved (Kerem Sanga, 2016): 1.5/5
"And...I'm totally gay" bitch me too the fuck

Uncle Tom (Justin Malone, 2020): 0.5/5
Right-wing propaganda featuring the nation’s famous Black conservatives refusing to acknowledge past events in their full context, instead blaming victimhood and a lack of guidance/role models on the current inequities of Black americans--the boilerplate boot strappy, respectability politics that's always reserved especially for Black people--and not the history of state approved legislation and practices intended to disenfranchise Black americans

The King of Staten Island (Judd Apatow, 2020) 2/5
all judd apatow knows is 2 and a half hours of his friends riffing, shot reverse shot, tame impala b-side score, NYC tourism board montage, and of course The Man Child.

Swallow (Carlo Mirabella-Davis, 2019): 3/5
me after i've eaten all of my quarantine snacks: those house keys do be looking tasty tho

More 2020 titles 

Host (Rob Savage, 2020): 4.5/5 

Six friends hire a medium to hold a seance via Zoom during lockdown. Most good horror movies make me feel, at best, disgust, pity, and a profound naughty thrill of errant deeds. This fucker—like Blair Witch, Paranormal Activity and The Conjuring—was just scary. I thought the Zoom conceit was going to annoy me, but it instead made the movie feel very real. And hell yeah to the 57-minute running time. 

The King of Staten Island (Judd Apatow, 2020): 2.5/5

Amiable but baggy. The movie waits until the hour and a half mark to get the sullen and dopey main character to realize that being a fireman (like his dead father) might be a path for him. It should have happened at the half-hour mark, of course. I recently heard comedian Jason Mantzoukas say that Apatow is trying to make James L. Brooks dramadies now, which is about right.

I’m Thinking of Ending Things (Charlie Kaufman, 2020): 3/5

I understand everything in this movie and have no questions. Thank you... 

Actually, the first article I read after watching this revealed one simple thing that is never mentioned in the movie but that rendered the whole thing relatively cogent. Why does Kaufman fail to mention it in the text? Just cooler to be opaque? 

A short Paul Schrader retrospective. 

Blue Collar (Paul Schrader, 1978): 3.5/5

A Detroit story of corrupt unions, theft and selling out with as much dignity as possible. Contains songs by Howling Wolf and Captain Beefheart. In other words: relevant. 

American Gigolo, rw (Paul Schrader, 1980): 4/5

Why did I like this movie so much when I saw it in the theater with my parents at the age of 13? Gere is very cool—extremely handsome and supremely confident and he has a lot of sex. And it’s a cool milieu—beachfront properties and hotel living. It also happens to be radically homoerotic, with lovingly prolonged shots of Gere’s magnificent wang. 

The Comfort of Strangers (Paul Schrader, 1990): 3/5

Screenplay by Pinter. Great Walken performance. Creepy Venice milieu. 

Light Sleeper (Paul Schrader, 1992): 3/5

Yet another tale of a marginalized figure working himself up to an act of redemptive violence (see Taxi Driver and First Reformed), but that’s Schrader’s brand, right? Dafoe trying to act normal. 

Auto Focus (Paul Schrader, 2002): 4/5

Men gotta have fun, right? Extremely caustic and ugly and modern. Uses and undermines sitcom look and feel. Perfect use of Greg Kinnear's uncanny, plastic charm. Best ever movie about sex addiction?? 

I noticed that of Spielberg’s 32 feature films, I had seen all but three, so I decided to watch them. Spoiler alert: while they are not without merit, I had avoided them for a reason.

Amistad (Steven Spielberg, 1997): 2.5/5

Although I was prepared to dislike it (obviously I had been avoiding it for all these year), I actually appreciated the first two thirds of Amistad. Spielberg has a powerful arsenal of suspense tools, and when he depicts the violence of the insurrection and especially the horrors of the slave ship, it’s powerful stuff. Of course, it’s easy to see that he is not the right person to be telling this story, and he brings a lot of baggage that sinks the movie before it’s done. Lots of speeches by old white people!!! It was not successful in its day, but I understand it’s a staple in high school classes now.

Munich (Steven Spielberg, 2005): 1.5/5

Well-made (naturally) but kind of terrible. Bana is so bland that the center cannot hold. And It never feels epic (despite its 2:45 running time), just episodic. It also has one of the worst sex scenes in film history—when Bana is imagining an explosive terrorist act while he comes. Gad!! Surprisingly, the movie does very little hand-wringing about heinous terrorist acts that are in the cause of Israel. Jewish music over the end credits justify the means? 

War Horse (Steven Spielberg, 2005): 2/5

Au Hasard Balthazar for Dummies. There’s actually a pretty good, unsentimental, 45-minute WWI movie in the middle of this. Unfortunately, it’s bookended by lots of bullshit, How Green Was My Valley treacle.

When Docs Attack 

Listen to Britain (Humphrey Jennings, 1942): 1/5 

20 interminable minutes of smug stiff-upper-lip very white self-congratulatory propaganda, except instead of geometrically aligned Olympiads we have sewing machines and municipal orchestras. Pathetic. 

A Diary for Timothy (Humphrey Jennings, 1945): 2/5

Interesting to see the end of the war told more or less as it’s happening, but that’s buried under more crap sentimental self-congratulation.

Reassemblage: From the Firelight to the Screen (Trinh T. Minh-ha, 1983): 2/5

A hand-wringing ethnic documentary that purposely denies the clichés of the genre yet doesn’t offer much that’s interesting or helpful as a replacement. Philosophic connection of the Sensory Ethnography Lab, but this is no Sweetgrass. 

David Crosby: Remember My Name (A.J. Eaton, 2019): 2.5/5 

I wanted more music and less personal drama, but I guess that’s Crosby in general.

Love on the Spectrum (Cian O'Clery, 2020): 4/5

A compelling and compassionate five-part documentary series that definitely made me feel like I understood autism much better—they are all so different! I found the subjects very easy to relate to and empathize with, and it made me think that I and everyone I know and love are all on the autism spectrum. But then again that’s what is meant by spectrum, right? 

My Octopus Teacher (Pippa Ehrlich and James Reed, 2020): 3.5/5 

Thankfully, it veers away from some opening creepiness and becomes a pleasant and beautiful hang-out movie where we just witness what it’s like to be an octopus for a year. Does she get her arm ripped off and consumed by a shark? Yes. Yes she does.

Punishment Park (Peter Watkins, 1971): 3.5/5

Punishment Park is not a film to sit and watch in 2020 to unwind.

rewatched Fail Safe (Sidney Lumet, 1964): 4/5 

Final minutes are haunting. Still prefer DR. STRANGELOVE though.

Color Out of Space (Richard Stanley, 2019): 3/5
As horror phantasmagorias with Nic Cage go, I vastly prefer this Lovecraft freakout to MANDY. (I mean, Cage milks alpacas here.) The film also compares to Annihilation in detailing a supernatural event that impacts the characters and the world on a molecular level. 

The Other Lamb (Malgorzata Szumoska, 2019): 1/5
pointless cult drama with an empty, Instagram aesthetic

Things to Come (Mia Hansen-Love, 2016): 3.5/5
Two cinematic delights: philosophy and Isabelle Huppert. Sure, not terribly "exciting", but there are no false notes here. Extra half star for the scene where Huppert watches Juliette Binoche in CERTIFIED COPY at the movies, and if this isn't Magic then I don't know what is.

Emma. (Autumn de Wilde, 2020): 2.5/5
Fine enough. This one's not one of my favorite of Austen's books anyway, and beyond some formal innovation or fresh take on the material, I'm not really sure what the point of re-adapting this stuff over and over is. This is just standard period stuff, not even really distinguishable from something you'd catch on PBS.

Vita & Virginia (Chanya Button, 2018): 2/5
vita sackville-west be like: i’m not gonna beg for pussy, imma ask 11 times and THATS IT

Another thing: Elizabeth Debicki, and I can’t emphasize this enough, is 6’3

Loveless (Andrey Zvyaginstev, 2017): 3.5/5 

Fantastic direction. Loved the subtle jabs at Russian workplace despotism and the use of state radio to ground the story in recent history.


rewatched I Heart Huckabees (David O. Russel, 2004): 3/5 

"Why do we only ask ourselves the big questions when something bad happens?"

Haven't seen this since I was 15 and could only recall the leaked footage of David O. Russell and Lily Tomlin's meltdowns on set.

She said fuckabee’s!

The Alchemist Cookbook (Joel Potrykus, 2016): 0.5/5
There is no point to this.

The movie dabbles with magic, but shows none of it, which sounds like a smart, minimalist movie. But, The Alchemist Cookbook is dreadful, because it is neither cinematic or engaging.

I swear, everybody's in such a hurry to make a movie they forget to write a story first.

The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane (Nicolas Gessner, 1976): 3/5
Another ridiculously assured performance from a baby Jodie Foster as a 13 year old girl attempting to hide the fact that she is living alone by pretending to all the locals that her deceased father is permanently indisposed. Only in the 70's would you be presented with a film which presents us with murder, underage sex and nudity and pedophilia, even if none of it is entirely overt.

Also, the way every single thing about Mario’s character was completely unnecessary to the story but they just made him an amateur magician with a limp from too many polio vaccines for no reason THAT is storytelling.


LA 92 (TJ Martin & Daniel Lindsay, 2017): 4/5 

Or, "Nothing and I mean really literally nothing has changed" The Movie.

A lot of the same talking points from the police leadership: a few bad apples, if you take away our support we'll stop protecting you, etc. Laughable responses from George HW and Bill Clinton.

rewatched The Terminator (James Cameron, 1984): 4.5/5
Cameron's CITIZEN KANE. 

Cheesier and chintzier than I remembered, but still kills as an exercise in sheer relentlessness.

The Birdcage (Mike Nichols, 1996): 2.5/5
Not entirely unfunny, once or twice even poignant, but mostly toothless. Extra half star for Gene Hackman in drag.

Dark Waters (Todd Haynes, 2019): 2.5/5

Well-worn scrappy lawyer legal trope fest by an auteur.

Sex and the City (Michael Patrick King, 2008): 2.5/5
Indeed grotesquely out of touch with reality but who wouldn't give to be a rich white woman jetting between LA and NY whose biggest problem is that her boyfriend bought her a $60,000 diamond ring?

Also I had fun drinking and yelling about how ugly 75% of their outfits were.

Underwater (William Eubank, 2020): 2/5
You’ve seen this movie before, but the key difference is that now it’s much harder to tell what’s going on.

The Hunt (Craig Zobel, 2020): 2.5/5 

AKA Battle Roy’all

Centrist dad satire + cheap thrills. Extra half star for the line “Don’t you first amendment me!”

The Act ( Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre, 2019): 3.5/5

A grotty, nasty, poisonous tale whose punch comes from the fact that some version of this really happened. It's the sad and horrendous true story of one of the worst cases of medical child abuse, worst scamming of stuff, worst plan for killing your mom, worst everything.

Chloe Sevigny and Juliette Lewis together, oh I love it. Joey King is disturbingly good in the Gypsy role and Arquette continues to dominate these true life female wacko roles.

Hamilton (Thomas Kail, 2020): 2.5/5
I did the cultural equivalent of renewing my driver's license. Whatever. 

Mulan (Niki Caro, 2020): 2.5/5

We’re truly living in very weird times when the new Charlie Kaufman existential drama has more musical numbers than Disney’s Mulan. #dishonor 

I'm Thinking of Ending Things (Charlie Kaufman, 2020): 2.5/5
Nobody does cerebral existentialism like Kaufman, and it's foolish to even try to summarize the complexities of his work after just one viewing. The writer/director himself once said that his movies are supposed to be felt rather than understood. Will rewatch before the year’s over.

She Dies Tomorrow (Amy Seimetz, 2020): 2.5/5 

SPOILER ALERT

no she doesnt

Possessor (Brandon Cronenberg, 2020): 3.5/5

The gnarliest film for the rest of this decade???

Agree with Justin that it's William Gibson meets Cronenberg Sr. 

Simultaneously a visual treat with its lighting, dreamlike atmosphere and monochromatic scenes; and a visual nightmare with its gratuitous, unfathomable brutality. Honestly, not sure if all of the violence is justified. It carries no narrative weight—I guess on a technical level (practical effects), it’s impressive. The shock-factor detracted from the film’s strength: its intriguing but glossed over sci-fi elements. There will be people who enjoy those fruits of ambiguity; personally, it sometimes rang empty. I felt whenever Possessor was on the brink of brilliance, it resorted to bludgeoning bloodshed.

rewatched Sleepers (Barry Levinson, 1996): 5/5

It's not perfect, but it's been a long-time fave of mine. First saw this as a kid. AS A KID. Where were my parents???

rewatched Wavelength (Michael Snow, 1967): No Rating

The greatest endurance test structuralist avant-garde cinema has to offer. Last seen circa 2008.

Little Fires Everywhere (Liz Tigelaar, 2020): 3/5

NOBODY plays a privileged tone deaf white woman better than reese witherspoon, and that’s a genuine compliment. she just GETS it, you know?

Wildlife (Paul Dano, 2018): 2/5
How many men invite the Other Woman over to his house WITH HER SON (14)?

2020: Not that bad, from a new movie standpoint! 

Da 5 Bloods (Spike Lee, 2020): 3.5/5

Tonally, all over the map and full of unmotivated direct address and googly-eyed politicizing but that’s his style if not invention. Like, when he plays Ride of the Valkyries when they are first starting on their mission, is the reference parodic or straight? I’m pretty sure Lee doesn’t know. Still it’s my favorite movie of his since 2002’s 25^th Hour.

 

Bacurau (Keiber Mendonça Filho, 2020): 2/5

Not even the best retelling of The Most Dangerous Game released in 2020. That would be Craig Zobel’s The Hunt. Didn’t work for me as a slice of Brazilian life or as a thriller or as (extremely blunt) politicking.

 

Palm Springs (Max Barbako, 2020): 4/5

Inconsequential but entertaining. I love Adam Sandberg, and Cristin Milioti was (as they say) a revelation.

 

Arkansas (Clark Duke, 2020): 2.5/5

Overwritten, broad and familiar (if you’ve seen Ozark or any Tarantino movie), but as in Dragged Across Concrete, Vince Vaughn was strong (red trucker hat and all). Liam Hemsworth (Chris’ brother) is a complete stiff.

 

Saint Francis (Alex Thompson, 2020): 3/5

Full of emotion.

 

Young Ahmed (Jean-Pierre & Luc Dardenne, 2020): 4/5

Like in many Dardenne movies, we are locked in with unpleasant characters facing ultimate moral questions. The final minute is thrilling.

 

She Dies Tomorrow (Amy Seimetz, 2020): 4/5

All the existential terror of death, none of the actual on-screen monsters, killers or other threats. Nice, simple use of colored lights to communicate psychological states.

 

Possessor (Brandon Cronenberg, 2020): 4/5

Not surprisingly, this reminded me of early Cronenberg (Brandon is David’s son) and William Gibson. Brace yourself, it’s a bit of a tough, nasty watch.

 

Boys State (Amanda McBaine, Jesse Moss, 2020): 4/5

Much of what’s bad and good about the current state of politics shows up in miniaturized form here. The intensity and monomania of gun rights and anti-abortion beliefs in these very young people is scary, but, you know … Texas. The movie demonstrates all too well that making fun of people and arguing personality instead of policy always wins. And that movies that are built around a competition almost always work. “Is the word penis acceptable for our discourse?”

 

Two docs that are the perfect length. Both real antidotes to the idea that you have to bloat your documentary up to 85 minutes. Don’t do it!

Speed Cubers (Sue Kim, 2020): 4/5

40 minutes of stifled sobs from me. Two great guys, and you really want them to succeed, to fit in, to feel normal and be loved.

John was Trying to Contact Aliens (Matthew Killip, 2020): 5/5

16 minutes, and it has three acts. Only watch it if you like music and weirdos. If it's too short, watch it twice—that's what I did.

 

 

European Cinema, 1953-1977:

Running the gamut from downbeat to despairing

 

Sawdust and Tinsel (Ingmar Bergman, 1953): 3/5

Love and misery at the traveling circus. Some powerful sequences, naturally.

 

Il Bidone (Federico Fellini, 1955): 2.5/5

A group of swindlers con money out of the very, very poor. But who is really being swindled? Just kidding. It’s the poor people.

 

Any Number Can Win (Henri Verneuil, 1963): 3.5/5

Rififi meets The Treasure of Sierra Madre. Alain Delon looks cool as hell, expertly playing a bit of dim bulb.

 

The Executioner (Luis Garcia Berlanga, 1963): 3.5/5

This one is bleak but at least it was pretty funny too. A man is very, very slowly—and with great protest and denial—pushed into having to execute a man for the state.

 

Memories from Underdevelopment (Tomás Gutiérrez Alea, 1968): 2/5

An aimless man wanders around Havana after the revolution. Spoiler: it ends with the rope tightening.

(NOTE: I realize that Cuba is not Europe, but I wrote the review already, and it certainly fits in with this group of films).

 

Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion (Elio Petri, 1970): 3.5/5

Kafka in reverse. A guy who is guilty of a crime descends into madness because he’s stuck in a system that just won’t find him guilty. Spoiler: it ends with the rope just refusing to tighten.

 

The Virgin and the Whore (Jean Eustache, 1973): 2.5/5

An aimless young man wanders around post-68 Paris. These extremely blabby characters have some amusing ideas, but at three hours and forty minutes, to say that they wear out their welcome is a stunning understatement. I must be a boob, though, because Richard Brody found it “emotionally shattering.” Did you know that the woman “the Mother” was modeled after in real life killed herself after the movie’s first screening. Talk about bad reviews!!

 

Mr. Klein (Joseph Losey, 1976): 3.5/5

An aimless man wanders around Vichy Paris. There’s another Mr. Klein (an elusive doppelganger, but Jewish) or is there? Alain Delon looks like hell. Spoiler: it ends with the rope tightening, in absolutely stunning fashion.

 

A Special Day (Ettore Scola, 1977): 4.5/5

Two outsiders share a fleeting connection on the day Hitler visits Rome in 1938. An emotional look at how the personal and political can’t be separated. Spoiler: it ends with the rope tightening.