Gremlins 2: The New Batch (Joe Dante, 1990): 2/5

Not to say that it's not often funny, but I'm laughing almost exclusively at the Trump-bashing ("construction, sports, finance, and of course a popular line of jams and jellies") and Haviland Morris' knowingly goofy performance as the rapacious, chain-smoking Marla. Nary a chuckle at the talking brainiac gremlin or the buck-toothed gremlin or the sexy girl gremlin who wants to hump the security chief or etc. Let's not even get into the electrified gremlin ex machina or Gizrambo. Hit and miss, but the puppets are all miss.

Judas and the Black Messiah (Shaka King, 2021): 3/5

Kaluuya's tremendous performance here pretty much makes up for O'Neal being somewhat underwritten. I get making him a character of ambivalence but Stanfield seems to be emotionally pitched at a guy whose psyche gradually begins engaging in open revolt but whose historical and narrative actions don't line up with that.

Supernova (Harry Macqueen, 2020): 2.5/5

Gentle, tender, and sweet, but still not really for me! Which is absolutely not to suggest it's bad, just that I rarely like these kinds of things. Predictably great performances from Col and Stan (nicknames only; we're very close and good friends. might just text em right now. "hey boys. just watched your movie." "did you love it" "read 4:41PM")

Music (Sia, 2021): 0.5/5

How do you make a musical worse than Cats?

Night Nurse (William Wellman, 1931): 3/5

Stanwyck stops Clark Gable from killing kids with the help of a bootlegger. A lot of Stanwyck and Joan Blondell in states of undress, including a scene where they share a bed together. (Pre-Code, I love you.) My favorite part:

"I'm Nick"

*camera zooms in*

"The chauffer."

I died. This wasn't even a comedy and that might have been the funniest thing I have ever seen.

Songs My Brother Taught Me (Chloe Zhao, 2015): 2.5/5

Drab at the center, fascinating around the edges.

A Glitch in the Matrix (Rodney Ascher, 2021): 2/5

Or, How do I tell the people in the grocery store that I’m the main character: The Movie

This is a super serious documentary that contains:

-Clips from an actual Tana Mongeau video about the Mandela Effect

-Clips from Rick and Morty

-A clip from The Adjustment Bureau

-Reddit posts

-Minecraft gameplay in the first 2 minutes

-Clips of Elon Musk on Joe Rogan's podcast

-A grown man describing how the A.I. in the simulation is just like "The Villager from Minecraft"

-Someone being really bad at playing the first level in Doom

Enchanted (Kevin Lima, 2007): 2/5

I was not.

Our Friend (Gabriela Coperthwaite, 2019) : 3/5

It's ultimately every cancer drama you've ever seen, with few original insights about loss or infidelity, but I watched it for the cast and the cast did not disappoint. Bonus points for a deep R.E.M. cut!

MLK/FBI (Sam Pollard, 2020): 3/5

Jeez it's almost like racism is an accepted and codified foundation of law enforcement or something.

Sorry We Missed You (Ken Loach, 2019): 4/5

Ken Loach continues to offer a chronicle of the British working class and the challenges they have to deal with in the complex social reality of contemporary England. Dramatically potent, genuinely affecting. My favorite Loach to date.

Malcolm & Marie (Sam Levinson, 2021): 1.5/5

How are you gonna make me sit through all that shit and not reward me with a breakup.

Basically a male film major’s critique of male film majors. Excuse me while I barf.

rewatched Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Robert Zemekis, 1988): 3.5/5

I now find the relentless cameos (Daffy & Donald, Mickey & Bugs, Betty Boop, etc.) distracting rather than delightful. Zemeckis keeps things hopping, though, and with Bob Hoskins serving as its dyspeptic center, the film stays grounded no matter how antic his cartoon co-stars get.

The Little Things (John Lee Hancock, 2021): 2/5

Bold move of WB to remake Se7en without any of its charm, appeal, or style. Even bolder move to cast Jared Leto as himself!

This is what movies are now: released directly on your TV with all the simulacra of being "good" (Oscar-winning actors, artistic sheen, intimations of psychological depth) but is actually something 30 years past its sell by date that knows just filling two hours is all it needs to do. A serial killer movie with no killer, not a single scare, interesting character, murder, thrill or twist, totally empty, we are watching the ghost of movies as a medium.

Saint Maud (Rose Glass, 2019): 3/5

A queasy and often beguiling examination of tarnished sanctimony. Dug the ending.

Mannequin (Michael Gottlieb, 1987): 2/5

Okay, but as a concept Shop-Mannequin-Comes-Alive was enough... why did she have to be an ancient Egyptian mummy sent to various time-zones by the Gods to date various men in their time of need? Did they think that extra layer gave her character CREDIBILITY?? And if she did date men in past centuries like Christopher Columbus, did she appear as a mannequin? Or like, a ship mast?? Or was she a human, and only now for the first time she appears as a mannequin, because the 80s is the most tragic of eras where man's greatest desire has become plastic/virtual women? So many questions.

Extra half star for Starship's "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now."

rewatched Sister Act (Emilie Ardolino, 1992): 3/5

Haven't seen this since I was a tot. Mostly adorable, frequently actual blasphemy. Needs at least one badass nun, like catches bullets with her teeth and has a wooden leg or something.