Maestro (Bradley Cooper, 2023): 3/5

RIP Lenny you would have loved Grindr

How to Have Sex (Molly Manning Walker, 2023): 3/5

A boiling pot of subtle anxiety that has the viewer knowing exactly where it's headed, but begging at every turn for someone to intervene. Themes of consent, communication, identity and boundaries come together to create Mia McKenna-Bruce’s sensitive performance that cuts deep with emotion and will undoubtedly provide unity and strength to a wide female audience.

Dream Scenario (Kristoffer Borgli, 2023): 2.5/5

The first two acts of this are intriguing and propulsively-paced, building neatly on the quirky comedy of the initial setup to something much darker. The trouble is that it doesn’t really go anywhere from there, other than some shallow social-media and cancel-culture satire. I guess that the true horror is that the fantastical events depicted are merely subsumed into our capitalist hellhole as just another marketing opportunity. In itself this is a trenchant enough point, but it’s not a satisfying enough denouement after the promise of the setup.

rewatched You've Got Mail (Nora Ephron, 1998): 4/5

I wanna go on a rant about how both of their businesses are going to be killed by the medium that brought them together, but this is just pure popcorn, movie star, killer supporting cast, dial up internet, New York City romantic escapism at its warmest, fuzziest and finest. So sue me.

May December (Todd Haynes, 2023): 3/5

I get that she was in a class which is where you go to learn and make mistakes, but Elizabeth’s flower arrangement was so lopsided and janky. An actress like her would have received so many bouquets she would know the basics of composition and volume, even if she was distracted by the local pedophile to her right

Cat Person ( Susanna Fogel, 2023): 2/5

Reduces the original text's rich, acute study of contemporary sexual and gender politics into a toothless, clumsy, tonally confused film whose revisions draw out the plot to such laughably wild yet somehow empty extremes.

Bluebeard's Eighth Wife (Ernst Lubitsch, 1938): 3/5

"I'm your worst investment. I don't pay any dividends and I'm proud of it."

Conventional battle of the sexes. Needed an actor with more of a detectable libido than Cooper possessed—I can heat this sucker up no small amount simply by imagining Gable in his place.

The Holdovers (Alexander Payne, 2023): 3/5

Perfectly fine and the beautifully retro vibes of its look (including the credits) is an impeccable fit for this tale of three lost souls who find the humanity in each other. Well lived in performances by the three leads.

Priscilla (Sofia Coppola, 2023): 2.5/5

I dunno I guess I just don't see the appeal of "dramatizing" someone's frustrating lack of agency (especially over a period of 13 years, and especially especially in the person of a legendary superstar's otherwise non-famous spouse, which is about as 'duh' as the subject gets). Extra demerits for the unforgivably cheesy closing needle drop, and for creating the constantly distracting impression that Elvis Presley stood eight feet tall. (Elordi's reportedly only 6'5", but he's so skinny, and Spaeny's so diminutive, that Elvis looks as if maybe he could have made even more money in the NBA.)

Poor Things (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2023): 3/5

Loved the linguistic playfulness. "I seek employment at your musty-smelling establishment of good-time fornication." Also some of the most gorgeous storybook CGI yet achieved—every fanciful view of Lisbon and Paris and the ocean made me gnash my teeth at the MCU's unforgivable muddy ugliness.

rewatched Rear Window (Hitchcock, 1954): 5/5

Fourth viewing, last seen 2017. I'm gonna embrace the futility of coming up with a fresh angle on perhaps the most thoroughly analyzed film of all time (it's either this or CITIZEN KANE, I'd say). I'll always experience REAR WINDOW first and foremost as a first-rate detective story/romance, plus whatever singular genre Thelma Ritter's presence automatically entails.

Leave the World Behind (Sam Esmail, 2023): 2.5/5

“I fucking hate people” wants to be “I don’t think we have enough hot dogs” but it’s just not.