The Watchers (Ishana Night Shyamalan, 2024): 1/5
I’m something of a watcher myself.
A watcher of movies that is.
This was one of those movies.
Kinds of Kindness (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2024): 4/5
Gritty, horny, violent, and darkly hilarious, Kinds of Kindness is Yorgos’s nod to all the sickos out there. He and Plemons are a perfect pairing, and I can't wait to see what they do together in his next film.
The Hunger (Tony Scott, 1983): 2/5
A visually striking but vapid film with no ideas coasting on the preternatural beauty of its lead actors. And I understand it was the '80s but they could've cut the flowing white curtain budget in half.
Hostel (Eli Roth, 2005): 0/5
I just can't with Eli Roth. I need him to serve jail time.
Call Northside 777 (Henry Hathaway, 1948): 3.5/5
Just a bunch of pros telling a story like pros. Jimmy Stewart may never have been more dogged, or shrewd, as here, outside of his westerns at least. Outside of characters who shoot guns. There's a glint of that All-American righteous indignation of his Mr. Smith persona but none of the "aw shucks" naive charm. This Jimmy walks down dark alleys regularly where Jefferson Smith has never even seen one. Love seeing Lee J. Cobb in perhaps the most subdued and reserved role I've ever seen from him.
rewatched The Third Man (Carol Reed, 1949): 4/5
That fucking zither score really got on my nerves this time. On the other hand, it's absolutely perfect for the final scene, which reliably destroyed. So.
We Grown Now ( Minhal Baig, 2023): 3/5
I was moved by this depiction of Black joy, specifically how two 11 year old Black boys doing their version of Ferris Bueller is filmed with a Truffaut-like sense of joy when we know Black boys engaging in this kind of idyll never get away with it like Ferris did. Great use of 1.66:1. And I hope Jurnee Smollett is remembered come awards time. The two boys are both pretty great too.
I Used to Be Funny (Ally Pankiw, 2023): 2.5/5
The nonlinear structure really didn't work for me here. Rachel Sennott is always good though. Crazy jumpscare towards the end (the whole thing took place in Canada). Also no movie needs two Phoebe Bridgers needle drops.
The Timekeepers of Eternity (Aristotelis Maragkos, 2021): 3.5/5
Ten minutes into The Timekeepers of Eternity, you'll know whether or not its central gimmick - condensing and remixing the little-remembered Stephen King miniseries THE LANGOLIERS by printing it out on sheets of paper and tearing through frames, thus re-inventing its filmic language - is for you. When something makes me think of Takashi Ito and Guy Maddin, it is indeed for me, but what was less clear at this juncture is: why this treatment for this text?
That this reasoning becomes clear is testament to the deeply considered nuclear ambition of The Timekeepers of Eternity. You *could* do this with any film, but there are multiple textual reasons it really works here, mirroring not only in-camera action but the metaphysical conceit the film is based around (one I won't spoil). I'm not familiar with Aristotelis Maragkos, so I don't know if he's played with this technique elsewhere, but watching him constantly innovate and one-up himself as the narrative develops is thrilling.
My only problem is that I wanted to punch Bronson Pinchot in the face, and various other lameness can't be overlooked. But as with Maddin, the plastic off-putting elements, in their own way, contribute to an unreality that becomes deeply compelling on its own terms.
Under Paris (Xavier Gens, 2024): 0.5/5
OR, Shark De Triomphe.
The premise is unserious as hell it had no choice but being fun but i was wrong it was the opposite of fun
Juice (Ernest Dickerson, 1992): 3/5
The first half is an amazing time capsule of the first peak of Hip Hop culture and Harlem with a dizzying number of cameos. When it becomes a horror/noir, it loses some of its magic but for the magnetic turn by Tupac Shakur who becomes a self-destructive avatar of street nihilism in the film in ways that are more than a little eerily prescient.
Hit Man (Richard Linklater, 2024): 3/5
A simple comedy. There's absolutely no depth to this at all, but sometimes it's nice not to have to think during a movie. All comfort pie is good comfort pie.
Kim's Video (David Redmon, Ashley Sabin, 2023): 2.5/5
Documentary on the legendary video rental store Kim’s Video that existed in New York City from 1987 to 2009. Over the years Kim amassed an insane collection of extremely rare tapes, dvds and bootlegs. Upon closing Kim’s Video the collection was donated to a small town in Italy who ultimately neglected the collection. Local politics and the mafia get involved and the filmmaker then turns his journey into a heist movie half way through with plans to steal back the huge collection and bring it home to New York where it will be properly preserved and enjoyed by all.
Sounds great and all, but the doc suffers from the classic problem: remarkable story, terrible storyteller. Just horrific narration, in terms of structure, content, and delivery where he pushes and pries and approaches his "research" so unprofessionally that it's a confusing and uncomfortable miracle that he accomplished as much as he did. Imagine how interesting this doc could have been in the hands of someone with an ounce of skill or preparation; someone who wouldn't, say, fly to Italy solo without learning a word of the language. (Also: what the FUCK happened in the underpass with the Mayor???)
In conclusion - never trust a man who says he watched Bottle Rocket to plan for his heist!!!! Bottle Rocket !! The whole point is that they're bad at heists!!
The Grab (Gabriela Cowperthwaite, 2022): 4/5
One of the interesting things about the end of the world in the 21st Century is that we don't need to go through it and look back with 20/20 vision - we can see how it's all going down the toilet as we speak... We are aware, and you'll rarely see "we're all so fucked" presented so well as it is here.
If you’re of a certain age, you’ll definitely recall the newsworthy oil crisis, created by OPEC, The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries, whereby a handful of the world’s richest oil producing nations controlled the supply of oil for money, power and world domination, forcing dependent countries and their citizens into tenuous circumstances. Lest you think those days are over, this documentary will open your eyes to the reality of the current geopolitical weaponry being wielded by China, Russia, Saudi Arabia, UAE and yes of course, the United States, where the currency is no longer oil, but rather food and water.
This gobsmacking doc follows award-winning journalist Nathan Halverson and his team at the Center for Investigative Reporting as they crack open a story based on an epic leak of documents exposing a complex, interwoven web of clandestine activities by private individuals, myriad offshore shell companies and governments as they seek food and water outside their borders to meet increasing shortages. The Grab is a wonderfully effective documentary that pushes the narrative tensions to ensure as wide an audience as possible, whilst uncovering and spotlighting an incredible shift in global approaches to economic and geo-political power with clarity and insight.
1 in 4 US pigs, Somali pirates, private security, Crimea, colonization of Africa, watermelon buying in December, the Russian invasion of Ukraine, pension funds, society being only 9 meals away from social unrest - see how it's all connected in this doc.
The Pumpkin Eater (Jack Clayton, 1964): 3.5/5
The third feature film by Jack Clayton is a rebuke to anyone who thinks British and cinema are contradictory terms. Clayton’s expressionist visual style matches the great Harold Pinter’s trademark use of subtextual dread and free-floating menace as beautifully as Joseph Losey matched with Pinter the year before (in The Servant). Anchoring it all is Anne Bancroft playing an oft-married British woman who manages the not insignificant feat of upward social mobility but at the cost of her happiness and her soul.
Inside the Yellow Cocoon Shell (Pham Thien An, 2023): 3/5
A meandering film about, well, a man meandering. Sometimes you look for your brother and god, and don’t find either. Such is life.
Poolman (Chris Pine, 2024): 0.5/5
Well it doesn’t make any sense, but to be fair it’s also boring as shit. I could go on... and I will!!! Incompetent. Irrelevant. A cacophony of misguided, meandering gags. Pine with his indulgent, unchecked ambition and woeful misunderstanding of audience desires. Performances as a sinking ship in an ocean of mediocrity.
Touted as a neo-noir satire, the film's blatant and repeated homage to Chinatown serves less as a clever nod and more as a painful reminder of the gulf between Polanski's craftsmanship and Pine's nascent directorial efforts. ( The decision to intersperse genuine clips of the 1974 classic only exacerbates this disparity, leaving viewers longing for the substance and skill of a true noir.)
MoviePass, MovieCrash (Muta’Ali Muhammad, 2024): 3.5/5
A juicy story I'd been waiting to hear for the last five years.
We all knew they were hemorrhaging money, we all had a feeling they were targeting power users and straight-up turning off our service. But I had no idea it was created by two smart young black guys who were ousted by two crooked old white guys. MoviePass, MovieCrash dives into the phenomenon, the racism behind the scenes, the hemorrhaging of cash, and the Fyre Festival-esque levels of fraud. This is a comprehensive and entertaining doc, especially if you remember this era of the theater-going experience. As someone who rode the MoviePass rollercoaster during its 2017-2018 peak (and the complete fiasco that was its last 6 months or so), this was a fun trip down memory lane. Farnsworth and Lowe are criminals and, perhaps more importantly, fucking idiots for not realizing that I would use their service 5-6 times per week and BLEED THEM DRY.
Rarely have I laughed so hard at something so deeply depressing.
Killer line: "they could've cut the flowing white curtain budget in half."
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