Anora (Sean Baker, 2024): 4/5

A kinetic, genuinely funny, and ultimately tragic American story. Mikey Madison is all fire, hope and utter desperation.

The hardest I’ve laughed in a theater this year when the film turns into a screwball race against the clock, and Madison’s Anora finds herself stuck in an SUV with her young husband’s three stooges: Igor (Yuriy Borisov), Garnick (Vache Tovmasyan) and Toros (Karren Karagulian) in the supporting performances of the year.

The hype machine behind this film had me walking in with some serious trepidation, but there is a real heart to the way Sean Baker guides this story and these characters. It’s all laughter, sensitivity and sadness. Smiles and cries.

The Apprentice (Ali Abbasi, 2024): 3/5
In some ways this film is both irresistible and a fool’s errand, for the filmmaker and the film viewer alike. In the short term this reverse Icarus myth is going to get attacked for having nothing new to say and, possibly worse yet, humanizing ever so slightly two of the most despicable Americans the last century produced. Stan, Strong, Bakalova, and Donavan are all a joy to watch, maybe especially when they commit to their character’s worst moments. Ali Abbasi seems to be fascinated by how national ideology can turn men into monsters, but the most appalling part in this film as in his last film is seeing the masses put a monster on a pedestal (though in fairness, Trump was still hiding the depths of his monstrousness from the public eye for the most part). Trump tried to have this film blocked but he’s wasting his time. None of his myrmidons are likely to see this film and feel anything but admiration for their Great Leader. And that is scarier than anything any horror filmmaker can devise.

Joker: Folie a Deux (Todd Phillips, 2024): 1.5/5

One of the clearest cases of “this literally only exists because the first one made more money than the GDP of a small country.” Genuinely have no idea who this is for. The Joker bros are going to hate the singing of it all, and that ending feels almost intentionally designed to piss them off. The queers are going to feel Gaga-baited. Casual viewers are going to be completely baffled. And EVERYONE is gonna be bored outta their minds. It’s too self-serious to be campy, but too shallow and silly to be taken seriously. An aimless, empty endeavor. Hildur Guonadottir is the only innocent person here.

Nimic (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2019, 12 mins): 3/5

Polanskian. Effective. Should be played in front of TAR. Also not recommended for anyone in the middle of a painful separation/divorce.

No Other Land (Basel Adra, Hamdan Ballal, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, 2024): 5/5

Covers so many aspects of the oppressive occupation with irrefutable evidence captured on the ground. Aside from the blatant destruction and violence of the Israel Occupation Forces and the settlers, it is astounding to see the dehumanising effects of military “law” on the Palestinians and the Israelis themselves as they enact these atrocities. This is strongly countered with beautiful moments of humanity and connection between family and the Palestinian and Israeli filmmakers.

Fanatical: The Catfishing of Tegan and Sara (Erin Lee Carr, 2024): 2.5/5

being a stan should be in the DSM

Woman of the Hour (Anna Kendrick, 2024): 3/5

Solid directorial debut. Some interesting choices, particularly with the editing. I usually avoid serial killer stories like I avoid sitting next to a person with a persistent cough on the metro, but this one does a great job focusing on the victims and underlining how much serial killers are aided and abetted by the misogyny and incompetence of police. Also a great take down of the kind of male superpredator who uses art and the signifiers of culture and enlightenment to lure in his prey (as opposed to garden variety predators).

Last Action Hero (John McTiernan, 1993): 2.5/5

I, uh, was convinced that this movie was going to outgross Jurassic Park. I was seven, sure. But still: bad take.

It’s not hard to see why it was rejected by audiences and critics: the kid is obnoxious, the “Purple Rose of Cairo”-riffing premise doesn’t really work, and it’s unforgivably bloated (running 130 minutes, and ending about six times). Still though, I've got a soft spot for Arnie comedies.

Dick (Andrew Fleming, 1999): 3/5

Political scandals typically get the dramatic whistleblower treatment, so bless Andrew Fleming for giving us a breezy what-if scenario around Watergate. We need a movie like this for every president. I want Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams to intervene in all 46 presidencies.

Jade (William Friedkin, 1995): 2.5/5

Remember a simpler time when politicians sleeping with beautiful call-girls was a career suicide scandal? (*gazes off into the distance.*)

Jade is a completely shameless and highly sexed-up rip-off of Basic Instinct with the dialogue of Showgirls, served with an extra side dish of cheese. The film thrives on a trashy cynicism: women are sex-craved harlots in search of defilement and a man's worth is based solely on how much he can resist them. Of course, twenty years later the real reason to watch this movie is William Friedkin's bravado, 10-minute car chase through the streets of San Francisco. Also, David Caruso is the Jeremy Renner of his day; a sturdy supporting character actor who was wrongly convinced he should've been a star.

It's What's Inside (Greg Jardin, 2024): 2/5

Light on its feet and has a lot of stylistic pizzazz but quickly becomes impossible to track character development and motivation as it rapidly blurs identity. Doesn’t help that none of these people feel properly defined before it starts throwing a ton of mayhem at the wall, so it all becomes like a blur of mush. And it's hard to care about the characters switching bodies when you don't care about any of them in the first place!

Lorenzo's Oil (George Miller, 1992): 3/5

A George Miller film and it isn’t set in the post apocalyptic wasteland. Probably the only reason why this film is not more well regarded is because frankly it’s too harrowing to think of your child being ripped apart by a mysterious ailment. And Miller makes the audience confront that head on. The editing really shines here. We get in and out of scenes much faster than normal which replicated the frenzied urgency of parents fighting for the life of their child and also strips what could be a Lifetime movie from any excess that might lead to sentimentality. Restrained is not a word we typically use to describe George Miller’s work but this film is that because when a medical condition is this horrific a wise director knows not to embellish, just tell the truth. Great performance by Sarandon whose guilt over being the carrier for this unspeakable disease turns her into an Ahabian figure that threatens every relationship in her life. Nolte gives it his all though his horrible Italian accent undermines him. And this film features Becky Ann Baker (as a smart and sexy secretary), Ann Dowd, AND Margo Martindale which is a hat trick of casting middle American white women.

Coma (Michael Crichton, 1978): 3/5

Starts strongly, with Crichton's medical experience giving the drama some verisimilitude, especially with the overlapping background dialogue. For this genre, the Paranoia Movie signifiers here are fairly muted. Then, pretty much right after the romantic montage with the swoony music, it goes dumb. Still, if your fetish is People Sneaking Around Creepy Antiseptic Buildings, then the second half will blow your pleasure centers out. (The exterior of this Creepy Antiseptic Building is played by the former premises of the local Xerox headquarters. I can only imagine the phone call. "Hello, I'm scouting locations for an upcoming Hollywood movie, and we'd like to use your office building." "Okay, but why?" "Because it's terrifying.")

A New Leaf (Elaine May, 1971): 3.5/5

Lovely and loving, in its way. Could this be one of the few examples where studio interference actually ended up working in a film’s favor? Supposedly, screenwriter/director Elaine May’s initial cut came in at a colossal 3 hours, despite her attempts to pare it down after ten long months in the editing room. Dissatisfied with the bloated runtime, Paramount took the film off her hands and cut it down to a much more digestible 102 minutes. It’s frankly a small marvel that the finished product ended up so well-rounded and coherent, given how much of May’s original material had been discarded. Her longer version contained a whole subplot about a blackmailer, two murders, and even a fantasy sequence—scenarios that undoubtedly held potential for some solid laughs, but in all likelihood would probably have made the film unnecessarily baggy and unfocussed. It was disheartening to read about the way May was strong-armed by the studio during this whole process, and the film evidently wasn’t the final product she wanted it to be (she attempted to sue Paramount for breaking her contract terms, and tried to have her name removed from the credits) but by some stroke of fortune her heavily altered movie ended up being a critical success that, while not a box office hit, has rightfully since attained much wider audience appreciation.

Between the Temples (Nate Silver, 2024): 3/5

Ashby is in the air. This falls a bit short of that but the cast is great even if the film overstays its welcome by 20 minutes or so. Caroline Aaron is so good, Dolly de Leon is great, Jason Schwartzman does some of his best work in a while, and as always Carol Kane is magic.

Rumours (Guy Maddin, 2024): 2.5/5
An astonishingly bizarre little movie. The satirical approach to mocking the disorganization of world leaders is smart but ultimately runs dry. Germany is way thirsty, Canada is often emotional and runs away, US is dumb, lazy, and British for some reason? I vibed with the dry humor but wish it was funnier. When it comes to the actual plot, it’s messy and stupid. I didn’t quite understand everything that was happening or what the underlining point was? Ah, the things I will do for Cate Blanchett. Weird, weird, weird.

Spooktober Movies

The Frighteners (Peter Jackson, 1996): 2.5/5

The CGI doesn’t hold up AT ALL. This is a mix of Ghostbusters, 90s Tim Burton, and spooky-themed Disney channel flicks. Would be much better served by a hard R rating and going the Evil Dead parody route like Jackson’s earliest films. At least R. Lee Ermey’s cameo as the ghost of his Full Metal Jacket character is an undeniable high point almost worth the chore of watching the whole thing.

Arcadian (Benjamin Brewer, 2024): 2/5

Cage doing a minimalist, claustrophobic, riff on A Quiet Place with two teenagers and some monsters that look like they dropped out of 2000s anime — nowhere near as wild as that sounds with most of the runtime here focusing on the family dynamics rather than the monsters which just feels like a missed opportunity to have Cage wild out on some live action Ghibli creatures.

The Wolf Man (George Waggner, 1941): 3/5

Lon Chaney Jr. is, I don’t think, anyone’s idea of a great actor, but he’s used well here. Talbot comes across as someone who's just smart enough to know he’s kind of dumb, trying hard to understand the wider world but continually coming up short, clearly feeling like a lumbering dolt compared to his more intellectual father. (Talbot uses the telescope not to look at the heavens but to peep at a girl across the street.) As Chaney Jr. plays him, Talbot always seems out of step with the world, buffeted by forces he can’t comprehend, a protagonist stripped of his agency by Fate. That he’s reduced to an unthinking animal is just the logical end point.

Little Bites (Spider One, 2024): 2/5

I thought this was gonna be about those bags of tiny Entenmann's muffins??

Directed by Spider One (frontman for Powerman 5000 and Rob Zombie's younger brother) and produced by Cher. (???)

This is what it’s like when worlds collide.

Daddy's Head (Benjamin Barfoot, 2024): 2/5

Cool creature design, and it has its moments, but idk, Shudder original movies just generally lack the sauce, y’know? Supremely creepy conceit laid over a suitably tragic story, but just couldn't quite get over the hump into satisfying territory for me.

Alien: Romulus (Fede Alvarez, 2024): 3/5

"I'm afraid that's not in the best interest of the company."

This movie is heavy on exposition and fan service. A bit too heavy on both accounts. But it at least has an acid-spitting vulva in it. I also really loved David Jonnson as Andy. Was truly mesmerized by his cowardly yet calculated performance. Nice that these young people still have faith in human survival in the face of otherworldly horrors, but I’m built differently. I would have off'd myself about a minute in.

Terrifier 3 (Damien Leone, 2024): 2/5

Not enough Christmas themed kills. Where was the impale from a Christmas tree? Ornament onslaught? Gingerbread house of guts?

Faust (F.W. Murnau, 1926): 3/5

You can probably ignore me on why I'm not part of the "masterpiece" crowd on this one; most of my aversion stems from the tale of "Faust" itself, which I just don't find all that riveting in any form. Obviously that's not Murnau's fault, but maybe Faust wasn't the best choice of play to be adapted to film, or more accurately silent film, and if you have relative indifference to the story from the get-go, the movie is at a preemptive disadvantage. Most intriguing aspect is its scrutiny of true utilitarianism i.e., is it worth succumbing to a little evil to ultimately achieve something good? Faith-based parallels are ever-present, too, of course, but I prefer something more generalized and all-encompassing. Murnau does everything he can to direct the shit out of this thing, though, making it a "watching-in-awe" endeavor for even those with a mild allergy to the parable. His mastery of superimposition, framing, and set design is something of a minor miracle considering the time this was made, and e.g. the extended sequence of the flight to Parma is -- in spite of being entirely garnish -- one of the most dazzling visual excerpts in the whole movie. Feels way longer than 85-minutes, much of that thanks to the strenuous middle section: belabored with a great deal of exposition, especially for a silent film. As a counterbalance, the ending sums things up nice and succinctly, though, even if it makes no pragmatic sense (but that's not to say a German legend should make pragmatic sense; just an observation). I will say, I strangely admire the gall of Murnau to get as dark as he occasionally does; it's good that movies from the 1920s can still be somewhat surprising.

rewatched The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (Robert Wiene, 1920): 3.5/5

Second viewing, first in over 16 years. A total one-trick pony, but one whose trick is so magnificent that watching it repeatedly is far more pleasing than tedious. (Also, considering the time period, it was the only pony of its kind—no other ponies were quite like this one, and though many other ponies thereafter would try to replicate this pony’s trick, they simply couldn’t muster the same splendor.) Some might mistakenly view this chronology as an advantage, but Wiene deserves all the credit in the world for doing something that none of his contemporaries were attempting. One could argue that Melies and Griffith were on the same visual and conceptual playing fields, and I would agree; but even among the Greats, Wiene was the first to arouse truly unnerving apprehension from little more than atypical geometry, crudely painted canvases, and immodest makeup, stimulating an entire cinematic movement in its wake. It’s easy to watch this now and yawn at the crudely drawn set pieces and shadowy background, but there’s something remarkable about the completeness of vision, no matter how economical—I mean, Christ, even Caligari’s business cards are an odd combination of trapezoidal and minimalist; if nothing else, you have to respect Wiene’s dedication. To say nothing of the variety of artists influenced by his work, even if only indirectly or subliminally so, e.g., Alan’s death–by–pokey instrument shown via towering shadow is a ten-year precursor to Hitchcock, and I maintain that even kid-oriented things ranging from Dr. Seuss books to “Rocko’s Modern Life” would look drastically different if not for this film. Unfortunately, and it hurts to say this, Mayer and Janowitz weren’t half the writers that Wiene was a director or Hameister was a cinematographer, meaning I felt a constant loop of stunned silence followed by nagging, intrusive thoughts like, ”Okay, but what person would honestly care to see Dr. Caligari’s somnambulist act?” Home stretch relies too heavily on gnarly plot conveniences, too, ergo the classic “bad guy leaves his diary full of secrets and all other pertinent information out on his desk, unattended, for anyone to waltz by and read.” (Some of that sting is admittedly rectified by the final twist, which makes the whole movie effectively pointless but is also so superficially awesome that I hardly care.) Hasn’t aged completely gracefully—e.g. Cesare’s first awakening, which today looks and feels like precisely what it is: a guy with face-paint awkwardly twitching on command—but instills enough dread when it’s most necessary; the scene that has Cesare slowly creeping toward a sleeping Jane gave me genuine chills. Not bad for being over one hundred years old.